Turn Love Inside Out

Advent Eve's Nascent Life Vigil

2010-11-28T14:11:00.000-05:00

Last night I participated in the world-wide vigil for nascent human Life –“Life not yet born.” There were no bright lights, no large video screens, no gut wrenching images displayed before us; no, with eyes closed and heads bowed, together we meditated, prayed, pondered, and listened with ears and hearts wide open to the essence of emerging Life not only in wombs throughout world, but that within our very own beings in need of protection, care and nurturing.

I love it that this vigil for Nascent Life was held on Advent’s Eve.

Divine Patience Unconditional Love

2010-11-06T22:40:00.002-04:00

Seems "unconditional Love" has more to do with "unconditional Patience" ...quiet, divinely expectant...patience - more so perhaps than any other expression of Love -rare in human terms and deeper somehow than simple lack of expectations.

Patiently waiting
Keren

I have probably seen you before in my mirror.

2010-10-14T10:18:00.001-04:00

Our experiences may be different, but we are all the same at the core...perhaps it is our soul, the dna or the imprint of our Creator...hmmm. I joined a group of people who...well to put it simply... we visit and share communion, mutual presence and the Word with a group of ladies lets just say "in unfortunate cirmcumstance." The suprising thing to me is that when I look at their faces they all look so familiar to me, each one...I know I know her..I know I must have met her or seen her before, etc. ...and I realize it is the look in their eyes and the expressions on their faces I recognize because I have indeed seen them all before in my very own mirror, in my own eyes and on my own face.Our experiences may be different, but we are all the same at the core...perhaps it is our soul, the dna or the imprint of our Creator...hmmm. I joined a group of people who...well to put it simply... we visit and share communion, mutual presence and the Word with a group of ladies lets just say "in unfortunate cirmcumstance." The suprising thing to me is that when I look at their faces they all look so familiar to me, each one...I know I know her..I know I must have met her or seen her before, etc. ...and I realize it is the look in their eyes and the expressions on their faces I recognize because I have indeed seen them all before in my very own mirror, in my own eyes and on my own face.

Peace
Keren

True Love is Forever - somepeople remain in your hearts forever

2010-10-08T11:11:00.001-04:00

I remember the first time I read anything Jim Palmer wrote. It has to be 4 years ago maybe 5 and was an article on ExploreFaith.com abotu Divine Nobodies and it was the first time I read any Protestant-type write about Jesus and Love in a sort-of similar way to my own Catholic pastor who was the first Anybody of any background I ever heard talk about Jesus and Love in the way that he did/does...i just happend to hear him on the radio. But that is another Love story.

Im dedicating this post to Jim Palmer. I still see him on Facebook. I still dont understand why he doesnt post those posts here too though. But you dont have to understand everything about a person or God or anything to Love it/them/him/her, and I am learning that is not my concern...I cant see his big picture any more than I can see my own.

I started posting on Jim's Myspace several years ago, and then a wonderful thing happend. He asked me to post on his Turnloveinsideout website blog. That was the first time anybody had ever asked me to express my thoughts on Love. I have said this before and i will keep saying it forever... I am eternally grateful for that. He asked me to do something, and that allowed expression of things I may have kept inside. For whatever that is worth to anybody else, probably nothing, but to me it has had immeasureable value, and I continue to learn and grow from the experience of sharing in this way.

I believe if it is our destiny, aka if God wants us to do something, he will let us know and we will do it..in His time. I also believe he uses other people most of the time to act on his behalf - since we - all of us - are made in His image. People who ask us, seek us out, and knock on our door - we will open up eventually. I am grateful to Jim Palmer for having the courage to ask me when he did and for all the various ways it has deepend and opened my faith.

In His Time, In His Way

2010-09-28T21:23:00.001-04:00

I imagine sometimes that perhpas before each of us are born to this Earthly world, we each are ourselves i.e. simply God's' creation..Eve or Adam or a combination of both... perhaps we choose this separation from God assuming we could handle life on our own...just like they did. And our mission .. if we choose to accept it....is to recognize something like this.. "I cant handle it.. I want You to be God and me to just be Yours." Thankfull that He came as Jesus to show us His way and to take us back...in His Time, In His Way...

We're all in this together, n'est-ce pas?

2010-09-18T23:14:00.001-04:00

We're all in this together, whatever it is.
Can we ever be separated from each other?
I say no.
Forget wrongness for a moment
(whatever you conceive that to be).
As children of the same Creator,
belonging to the same Mystery philosophers, scientists, spiritualists all chase after ie, obedience to completeness, peace, Love, wisdom,
desire to know or just be,
freedom, truth...
Bottom line, we're all in this together.

Being A Lover Sometimes Means Accepting Somebody Elses Attached Strings

2010-08-31T10:29:00.004-04:00

To me “unconditional love” is a divine way to love and a wonderful one. To me, “being a lover” is different. Being a “lover” pretty much necessitates a response. Somebody who will lay their head on your chest and actually listen to the beat of your heart, or hold your hand and feel your pulse or look into your eyes and read their own reflection in the eyes looking back at them….thats being a lover, not just a way to love. Just IMHO.

More notes on love. You know, I do have expectations of love. I expect people who say they love me and want the best for me, to not intentionally exclude me, or to not treat me cruelly or not manipulate me. I expect people who claim to love me and claim to want the best for me to share with me the loving respect they share with the upmost important people in their lives. I know people fall short of this, me too. I have expectations and regrets, and that to me is what life, truth and freedom is all about. Loving Freely sometimes comes with Strings. Sometimes Strings are what hold things together, when Love doesnt seem to be there.

“Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” {Mark Twain}

2010-08-23T23:02:00.002-04:00

Sweet fresh fragrance of Forgiveness.

Sweetness.

It seems mere humans, like me, have difficulty forgiving “being crushed”…but I believe with all of my heart that when we forgive a person or situation, it is not us, but God who actually does the forgiving… for and through us. the fragrance of God on the situation, I love it.

There have been many times there is something so big and insane there is no way I… can handle it much less allow it & I cannot let go & I cant do it by myself, I just cant! Then somehow through meditation/prayer/grace.. I feel that Jesus/God is looking at the situation, saying “Here, give it to me, I will do it for you. Didnt you read about what happened to me and how I handled things? – on the cross I prayed and asked my Father “Father Forgive them,..”… It may just be me, but that is when I relax a little and start feeling His “groove” not mine.

Peace
Keren

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky

2010-08-03T09:34:00.001-04:00

I dreamed there was a back-up of cars on the entry lane infront of me, I wanted to just get in line, but this is when my car took control and began to fly...

From Rumi: This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life. Finally, to take a step without feet.
JalaAd-in Rumi (for those who dont know, 12th Century Muslim - a Sufi mystic

I can hear My Father now

2010-07-28T10:58:00.002-04:00

"be magnanimous"

Rainbows from God are Promises

2010-07-28T09:01:00.003-04:00

I never say I would quit
I just said I wanted to some of the time.

May our anticipation of “Beauty” still to be born to us not die.

2010-07-24T13:07:00.000-04:00

May our noblest inspirations of what makes life “Good”
inside our hearts and souls and minds,
remain fresh…virgin…chaste and yearning.

May our highest expectation of perfect “Love” that drives our beings, and from which our hearts are defined,
remain unbound…unconsummated, unfinished and waiting.

May our anticipation of “Beauty” still to be born to us not die.

May the“Possibility”, that is part and parcel of our existence and that of our universe in kind, remain our earthly truth…as well as our infinite reality.

By the Source of All Created things, who Is as Is … uncreated.
Amen

faintly on the breeze

2010-07-08T08:13:00.001-04:00

"for many years i told people that God loved them. now instead, i love them myself, and i hear the name of Jesus faintly on the breeze."
Jim Palmer

The Substance of Love

2010-07-03T13:27:00.001-04:00

The hardest substance on earth is Love.
It comes on strong, takes home in your soul.
Imposing on your heart, it inflicts the brightest of lights and the darkest of despairs.
Immutable, impervious, rigid and fixed
Once there - always there
yet sometimes not even noticed at all.

Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle

2010-06-16T08:58:00.001-04:00

This principle has always appealed to me on a spiritual level, even though it is of course based on quantum (sub-atomic) physics.
In layman terms, it states that the very act of observing/watching/measuring something changes it, so its position/attributes cannot be described or ever determined with 100% accuracy.

Crude comparison for now, but in day-to-day terms, for example, when someone is standing behind me, watching me when I am typing, I freeze and can barely remember the keyboard placements.

Could it be the very act of trying to observe/measure our own concept of God/Love changes it? To me it seems once one insight is revealed and understood, immediately something comes along to challenge it, so it grows or shuts off, or deepens or shrinks… changes, morphs in to something else.

When God/Love measures and probes our heart, we are changed....when we feel it and respond to it.

Too, this principle may also indicate our inability to “judge” anything without touching some aspect of it - whether negative or positive – even if we have a camera on it or have it under a microscope 24 hours a day, 7 days a week..

Peace
Keren

Overly Dramatic Cactus

2010-06-14T06:53:00.001-04:00

Saint Anthony - The Finder

2010-06-13T08:53:00.001-04:00

Today (June 13) is the Feast Day of Saint Anthony of Padua (1195-1231) a Franciscan, and a Miracle Worker.

Born to a wealthy family, he declined the life of a nobleman and entered the Augustinian Abbey of St. Vincent – a scholarly order. He immersed himself in study of scripture; the writings of the Holy Fathers; and in prayer.

At one point he met *five Franciscan brothers who were traveling to preach to Muslims in Morocco. He later learned that they were martyred. Hearing the call to give away more of himself to follow Christ, he decided to join the Franciscan order, received approval from his superiors, and joined the Fransicans.

Once, he was he was chosen to give a homily when no one else was available. He was told to just let the Holy Spirit speak for him. He was nervous but the words sprang off his tongue, capturing the hearts and attention of everyone there.

Saint Francis of Assisi himself wrote Saint Anthony and asked him to be in charge of teaching theology to the brothers, who would then go out and preach the gospel to the world. However, he is now better known as an orator, rather than teacher. He spoke loud and clear and in a manner understandable by all people: the poor and the rich, the young and the old, the dull and the wise.

He spoke against heresy and moral duplicity. One time he preached for several days to a group of religious leaders and was welcomed on the last day by an empty room. Undeterred he went down to the seashore, where the river met the sea, and preached his faith to the fish - thousands of fish appeared to listen.

He had great compassion for the poor and oppressed, and many miracles are attributed to him. A few days before Saint Anthony’s death he saw and felt himself holding the baby Jesus. Someone looking through the window at the time indeed saw him with a baby.

Saint Anthony is best known as the Patron Saint of Lost Articles.

Saint Anthony’s life and ministry teach us how to be “Finders”:

- to carry our Faith the way we would hold a baby - firmly but with gentle fingers

- to listen for the call to follow Jesus and always be open for another yet deeper call

- to ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate us through prayer; in studying the Holy Scripture; and in studying the lives of Holy People

- to look for the simple truth in every situation, and

- to seek to taste the simple truth from our own tongue.

Saint Anthony was canonized less than one year after his death. He was made a Doctor of the Church in 1946 by Pope Pius XII.

(* note) The five Franciscan brothers martyred in Morocco were canonized by Sixtus IV in 1481: Saints Berardo, Pietro, Accursio, Adiuto and Ottone.

Revamping My Blogs

2010-05-16T09:27:00.001-04:00

http://kerensgallery.wordpress.com/

Website www.kerensgallery.com

Im in process of updating my web sites.

More later
K

Looking for Freedom in Forgiveness

2009-09-07T09:04:00.005-04:00

The LORD has his way in the whirlwind and in the storm, and the clouds are the dust of his feet.

Peace
Keren

Judging with Forgiveness: Denouement

2009-08-19T21:04:00.003-04:00

“PLEASE SAVE ME!"…Bursts through the eternal abyss,
please please let others know!
Will somebody hear and go to my father's house?
Is the chasm so great between life and death?”

The plaintive cries awaken my memory's soul…
...Who will go to his father’s home?
A voice in my own reverie …
Another sound, with my own name ...
a Painfully Sincere Cry from my own time,…

LAZARUS
Come out!
Untie him, untie him
Set him free

Without cost you received
Without cost, give back
again and again and again

*****************************************

(This may need some editing but, pretty much in final form).

Judging with Forgiveness: Crossing the Chasm

Gathering up my broken pieces.
I sort them into two piles:
Forgotten and Remembered.
The memories remain with me,
the forgotten are forgiven.
I weep and I long for the pieces lost
and not yet found.

Remembered
Memories contain elements of reality,
and a connection to infinity.

Memories happen not just in the mind,
but in the heart and body;
in genetics and dreams;
in the conscious, the unconscious;
in the conscience, and the soul.

Their truth is experienced in places and in times seen and unseen, close and faraway.

Memories are remembered with a life of their own, and also through the touch of angels.

Memories, like mirrors, provide reflections of life.
Memories offer a glimpse into eternity.

Forgotten
I see you dancing in that space
where time obscures but not erase
where taken hearts are released
and anxious breaths find peace

The rhythm of a gentle beat
Forgotten,
forgiven,
and free

Lost Pieces
“PLEASE SAVE ME!"…Bursts through the eternal abyss,
please please let others know!
Will somebody hear and go to my father's house?
Is the chasm so great between life and death?”

The plaintive cries awaken my memory's soul…
...Who will go to his father’s home?
A voice in my own reverie …
Another sound, with my own name ...
a Painfully Sincere Cry from my own time,…

LAZARUS!
Come out!
Untie him, untie him
Set him free

Found
Without cost you received
Without cost, give back
again and again and again

Bearer of World Peace

2009-08-15T13:57:00.001-04:00

Today is the Feast of the Assumption of Mary (celebrated by Roman Catholics on August 15) The "Assumption of Mary" is a belief held by Catholics, Orthodox Christians and some Protestants, and maybe even others.

The belief is that Mary’s body and soul were not separated by her earthly death; that when her life had completed its physical purpose, instead of her body decaying and her soul ascending, her body and soul together were assumed into heaven.

One pure human life, by accepting the Word of God as spoken to her, became impregnated with the Holy Spirit and bore His Son to give life and salvation to the World. As she lived with her son, and witnessed his ministry, his death, resurrection and ascension, the Holy Spirit eventually consumed her entirety. Simultaneously, she assumed the entirety of the Holy Spirit with total acceptance of the very atmosphere of God.

Mary’s eternal life and her purpose continue as the “carrier” of incarnate divinity. Mary is the bearer of World Peace; Jesus is the Peace. Mary was, is, and will be a key figure in bringing the Spirit of Peace to the World, even in our time and in times ahead.

Catholic and Orthodox Christians honor and venerate Mary; yet not only we love her, she is greatly loved, admired, and wondered about by many people worldwide. Even in Islam her example of piety, purity and acceptance of God’s will is admired

This from Wikipedia:

“Mary in Islam (مريم "Maryam" in Arabic), the mother of Jesus, is considered the most righteous woman in Islam. She is the only woman mentioned by name in the Qur'an - her name is mentioned more than it is in the New Testament... In the Qur'an, no other woman is given more attention than Mary. The nineteenth sura of the Qur'an is named after her and is, to some extent, about her life. Of the Qur'an's 114 suras, she is among only eight people who have a sura named after them. In Islam, she is generally referred to as Maryam, Umm Isa (Mary, the mother of Jesus). For Muslims she is a symbol of submission to God and piety.”

Mary unites! Christians may or may not be in agreement on some aspects of Jesus’s life, ministry and how we should follow Him, but we probably all agree that His Mother was specially chosen by God-the-Father for the very purpose of bringing Him into the world.

Peace,
Keren

Rambling Reflections on Peter's Shadow

2009-07-29T21:20:00.007-04:00

Is physical “presence” needed? or is spiritual presence all that is necessary? or perhaps both?

Shaktipat:
A guru can bestow Shaktipat in several ways to the student.
Including, but not limited to:
Laying of hands, a touch;
a look, a glance, eye contact;
a breath from mouth or nose….
a sigh;
Words written, or spoken, or thought
Kisses?? ….. Hmm… I dunno but I'd like to think so :o)

Shaktipat...wisdom...light
perhaps better expressed as enlightenment…
with a definite feminine flare….
(Indeed, there are other forms of Shakti)

Shaktipat can be bestowed from one who can bestow (a guru) to one who can be open to receive (student)...by any means or form.
A thought can bestow Shaktipat.
A desire.
An intention.
A flower or a chair

Jesus enlightened in so many ways
..here are just a few..
touch - words – distance - prayer - mud & spit - clothes - confronting - tears - shouts .... not to mention death rising breathing etc.

He was a healer...
Peter became a great healer, as well as did his shadow.

Feeling the Presence of Love

2009-07-28T21:06:00.005-04:00

Can you feel me loving you?
Can you feel my love for you even when it seems I am distant from you?
I can feel you touching me and reaching for places in me that nobody yet has touched.
Can you feel me touching and loving you even in places where you maybe have never been touched?
When we are together our glow can light the world.
Am I with you?
You are with me.
Tell me you feel my touch even if I seem distant.

Toward Unity with Respect to Differences

2009-07-25T16:21:00.004-04:00

"The desire to recover the unity of all Christians is a gift of Christ and a call of the Holy Spirit.”

Unity, with respect to differences, among all people is my motto. Unity, with respect to differences, among Christians would be a good place to start.

Judging with Forgiveness, verse 3

2009-07-22T08:29:00.003-04:00

I see you dancing in that space
where time obscures but not erase
where taken hearts are released
and anxious breaths find peace

The rhythm of a gentle beat
Forgotten,
forgiven,
and free

*****

Let me be Love as It Happens to Me

2009-07-13T08:32:00.001-04:00

Dear Heavenly Father,
Thank you for all the ways you reveal yourself to us. Thank you for the people and places you lead us to that through your grace hold and support us.

Let me be Love as it happens to me.
Let me be light to dark or somewhere inbetween.
Love take me where You will.

In the Name of Love
Amen

Judging with Forgiveness, verse 2

2009-07-12T14:59:00.006-04:00

Memories contain elements of reality,
and a connection to infinity.

Memories happen not just in the mind,
but in the heart and body;
in genetics and dreams;
in the conscious, the unconscious;
in the conscience, and the soul.

Their truth is experienced in places and in times
seen and unseen,
close and faraway.

Memories are remembered with a life of their own,
and also through the touch of angels.

Memories, like mirrors, provide reflections of life.
Memories offer a glimpse into eternity.

******

(NOTE: this verse has to do with "NATURE of memories" - Not an individual person's ability to remember).

Peace, Keren.

Judging with Forgiveness, verse 1

2009-07-10T09:07:00.003-04:00

Gathering up my broken pieces.
I sort them into two piles:
Forgotten and Remembered.
The memories remain with me,
the forgotten are forgiven.
I weep and I long for the pieces lost
and not yet found.

Look at Me ... believing...

2009-06-28T22:32:00.018-04:00

What do you see when you first remember to believe?
***
You made me, I was born, You gave me a gift called "Life"
***

In the beginning, to keep you with Me, Life included the price of containing all that I have and all that I am.

The freedom for you to choose good and evil made empty what matters to Me.

Yet, when you remember and Life fills your soul and makes its place in your heart...

When I look at you believing, I see Me.

*****

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

More From Saint Anthony

2009-06-22T07:56:00.003-04:00

Hold your Faith with gentle fingers.
Give it room to breathe and move and grow.
Gripped with expectations it will wiggle squirm and perhaps even cry.
Take it with you everywhere you go.
Lay it next to you when you sleep.
It will wake you up when it is time to hold it.

Gerbera Love

2009-06-15T08:40:00.006-04:00

Gerberas are high on my list of favorite flowers.
Brightly colored and expressive; they present a cheerful facade.
Smiles on clowns often mask a sorrowful heart.
The Gerbera Truth is revealed in those with dark centers.

Love (Agape, Eros, Caritas, etc) is the ultimate expression
of our deepest recognition of unity...
oneness.

Peace
Keren

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

In Honor of Saint Anthony - The Finder

2009-06-13T17:21:00.009-04:00

Gentle Fingers Gentle Toes

2009-06-01T06:55:00.003-04:00

Heavenly Father,
It is Monday again and as usual
I would rather stay home and play
instead of go to work today.
Please bless me with fortitude and resolve
and glue my ear to your heart.
Give me gentle fingers as I do the work
You have placed in my hands,
and gentle toes to touch the places
where I step.
In praise and thanksgiving
and in Jesus name
Amen

Among Us

2009-05-25T11:04:00.000-04:00

Among uncertainty and hope – I met You
Now, when I am near You…within Your presence,
I am in that place, and we are there together
where I let You love me in Your way,
while I love you in all the ways I am able
and even in ways I am not.

Among anxiety and calm I find Peace
Among despair and happiness I receive Grace.
***********
REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

Prayer

2009-05-25T11:01:00.004-04:00

We are more alike than different Different ways of expressing love and feeling in relationship with our Creator perhaps, but all the same at the core.

My church has a labyrinth.
It is an ancient form of prayer. Representing our journey to the center and back out again.
We walk it in groups sometimes.
Feels like a dance to me.
We are all in this together.
It is an outdoor labyrinth, surrounded by a columbarium - where the cremains of deceased parishioners reside.
It is patterned on the Labyrinth inside the ancient Cathedral of Chartres, in France. Where Black Madona resides.
I walked it yesterday.
There are times when I am walking it alone, I feel the presence of my deceased father, who died when I was 20, (30 years ago) - and is buried 200 miles away.
He and I walk it together, and somehow it becomes a wave-beaten shore at sunrise and we are searching for seashells.
Just Him and me. Holding hands, not saying a word.

I have only been "praying" for 5 years.
I keep discovering prayer where I didnt expect it.
I still dont have a set time of day to pray.
Always I pray spontaneoulsy when someone asks me to and when something enters my heart that calls for prayer.

I like to compose prayers like poems.

I like to pray for people and ask them to pray for me, but I am not a warrior.

I love to sing. Singing is a form of prayer.
When I paint I pray - more like meditation - I go completely into a zone.
I am usually very grateful when I am singing or painting.
These are prayers of praise and gratitude.

I pray the rosary with a group of about 30-40 people every Saturday morning.
A very diverse group - some people dont even speak English.
All colors of the rainbow, and from all corners of the earth.
Our voices in unison crying out to the blessed Mother "Pray for us, now and at the hour of our death"
Outside the little chapel, people are lining up for reconciliation.

I have only fallen to my knees in desperate prayer to Jesus a few times in my life. This past March, my husband was in ICU after two surgeries in less than 24 hours. He was having horrible hallucinations. I was terrified. I was on my knees begging.

Once a week I do Eucharistic adoration.
I stopped going for a while but I am now trying to get back in the routine.
You could also call it meditation. Or contemplative prayer.
You sit in silence for an hour, in the presence of Jesus.
At the beginning of the hour, I usually offer a problem I am having to Jesus, or a prayer for someone else - usually it is all about me.

Peace
Keren
******
REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

Afraid of the Dark

2009-05-19T08:58:00.001-04:00

I am less afraid of the dark as I become accustomed to its light.

In art terms, most beginning painters/drawers are said to be "afraid of the dark", they dont use enough dark to portray their subject.

Realistically, you cannot portray light without dark.
They work together.
Dark describes the shape of an object,
Light..its most salient points.
Both capture attention.
There is an edge where dark meets light.

I like a little edge.
Opposites may attract or repel,
but mainly they define.
There can be great power in differences
that are united for the whole.

Peace
Keren

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

Parting is such sweet sorrow

2009-05-15T08:48:00.002-04:00

Blue is my favorite color to wear
I like red too. Red is the color of Love.
I miss you, my friend, already even though I know
there is some time before you will go.
Now and forever you remain in my heart,
and in my sweetest dreams.
Please call me whenever you like.
I’ll call you if you give me your number.
Our souls connected long ago.
Thank you for teaching me that
time apart somehow enhances
the connection.

Peace
Keren

A Reflection on Trust: The Eyes of God-Who-Is-Love

2009-05-07T11:41:00.006-04:00

Do you really want to know Me?
I will let you look into My eyes, and
I will not be suprised,
if you will see,
within the space of a lingering glance,
a reflection of yourself.
Then you will be looking with My eyes.
Then will you trust Me?

Love them Shepherds! (more)

2009-04-29T08:11:00.004-04:00

Friday
I started a new/old job this week and am grateful to be back.
I have been pretty busy, reestablishing routines, many new faces, many familiar ones too. It is a busy time here. Lots to be done.
My friend (he thinks he is my boss) who brought me back is pleased as I am since I have the experience, I can come in and pretty much pick right back up where
I started when I left 4 years ago. Experience is a wonderful thing, that cant be taken from you, but you have to have it first.

All that said..I havent been able to post my shepherding reflections, but it occured to me pray for vocations instead.

Heavenly Father:
Please continue to send us good shepherds, shepherds who will tend to us for his/her lifetime. A Shepherd with experience awakening and tending to souls, and touching hearts in the name of Jesus, is a gift not only to his flock but ultimately to the world. I cant imagine a greater calling.
Amen

Tuesday
Last night, in a class for people wanting to learn about joining the church, after the obligatory discussion on levels of ordination...the discussion turned to next Sunday's readings..for Good Shepherd Sunday.

I have a few thoughts to post the rest of this week here, just to collect them, so I will come back to it several times this week.

*******

"When souls meet each other, what truth they can exchange! It is uttered in silence, yet always surely reaches its goal."
Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

There are many ways to be present to eachother. Today in a large city parish, a good shepherd in the human pastoring sense, cant possibly individually work with each person that comes into his fold, cant break the legs of each of his wayward sheep and carry them on his shoulders, but his tending to our hearts, and souls can be imparted by desire to care.

In some pastors this is abundantly felt. I have ben fortunate in the few churches I have attended, the pastors seem to have their flock in their hearts. The church I attend most truly has a pastor like this. It is a gift.

More later gotta go to work.

Unity: Believing in Love

2009-04-26T19:23:00.004-04:00

I believe that God/Love meets each of us where He knows we will recognise and know Him in our own way.

For us who know and love, or want to know and love, Jesus as God who is Love...

It seems all Jesus (also known as Love) wants us to do,
is to believe that what He is telling us is true;
that He is who He says He is;
and we am too...

"That they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be one in us, . . . so that the world may know that you have sent me."

*******
Fine print...
"The desire to recover the unity of all Christians is a gift of Christ and a call of the Holy Spirit."
Finer print...from the Catechism of the Catholic Church
*******

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Feeling God: Feeling Love

2009-04-23T11:25:00.002-04:00

I believe we are ultimately saved by our Desire for Grace (Grace could be defined as "closeness to God").

*Have you ever cried your guts out and been washed with grief over the loss of a loved one or a friend?
*Have you ever loved someone so truly and so deeply and not been loved back by that person, but still somehow in some way loved him/her anyway?
*Have you ever made a mistake and wanted to start over again?
*Have you ever been filled with compassion or pity for a very poor or sick person?
*Have you ever been stabbed in the heart i.e., hurt to the core by a situation but still loved the situation enough to want to make amends with it even though you may not be able to
*Have you ever longed for something you couldn’t quite name or put to words, but it burned inside you anyway?
*Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
*Have you ever given part of yourself to something and never expected anything in return?

to me…that’s feeling close to God.

There is more
*Have you ever been head over heals in love and had someone love you back in the same way?
*have you ever felt "taken away" from the world even for a moment when looking into the ocean or beautiful sunrise or view?
*Have you ever felt moved to draw a picture or sing a song or write a story or a letter or a poem?
*Have you ever desired to create something together with someone else?
*Have you ever loved someone so much you wanted to give them the world?

that’s feeling close to God

There is alot alot more…

********************************************************************************

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Fulfilling Love: Capacity for a Hole

2009-04-23T10:18:00.013-04:00

There is a hole inside, or at least the potential for a hole inside, of each of us.

I pour my heart and soul into the hole
and it flows out.
This hole is open ended.

I want, I work, I wait, I wonder..

With my heart and soul I could build a floor, some walls, a roof on the hole.
But then I would need really need some windows.
I open the windows -
my heart and my soul would flow out again.
What about a door to let some back in?

I wonder...?

Peace and Love
Keren
**********************************

REMINDER...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Easter 2009 - 2nd Sunday of Easer

2009-04-19T16:19:00.015-04:00

Reflections on my Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119 with
some help from the Gospel of John

Wisdom of God
The moment I grasp you,
you have already begun your escape.
You are infinitely accessible
but not containable.
I carry you but I do not hold you.
Your law is written on my heart,
to be displayed to all by its actions;
yet, I have to look inward,
on the right side of my heart,
to read it.
...K

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Peace
Keren

Easter Octave 2009 - Saturday,

2009-04-18T20:52:00.003-04:00

Jesus, it has been a week since
I dreamed you came to me
while I slept...
your breath your voice my name.
Like Eve, captive in a closed place,
you died to forgive me,
you died to save me and
bring me back to your perfect light.

Then I saw you inside me with Your eyes closed,
maybe dead, maybe sleeping, maybe peacefully resting...

You inside me is all I need to know.
...K

Easter Octave - 2009 - Friday's Child is Loving and Giving

2009-04-17T10:52:00.004-04:00

Father,
It is Friday again.
It has been a week now
since I saw You watching me
as I walked the path to death.
I recognised You even in your hat.

Even though it was a cruel crowd and dark day,
I saw your smile, the smile in Your heart.

You knew I would rise.
You knew I would forgive them all.
That is what we do.

Did You see the playful little boy following me?
and the reverent little girl leading me?

I am for Love and I am for Giving.
I wonder if I was born on a Friday too?
My mother says yes.

Peace and Love
Keren

Easter Octave 2009 - Thursday - Rainbow Lady

2009-04-16T20:34:00.010-04:00

This is a painting by Kasimir Malevich. I call it "rainbow lady"

Her shape/form of pure white light is somehow broken in half and we are allowed to see what her "insides" look like...her colors, her pure colors....
pure Black too is there

Black...in "light" terms... is "voided" color,
White...is "occupied" color.

In art-material terms, ironically, it is just the opposite..
White is "no color";
black is "all colors," in some measure, mixed together.

I "met" Kasimir in my subconscious earlier this year, it was in early February I believe...I know it was before Lent. It is unbelievable to me to have a cross-century relationship with a painter whose realistic figurative work, IMHO, is even similar to mine, not to mention his use of color.

I don't believe I had ever heard of him before. I know I had not seen his realistic paintings - he is most known for his abstracts.

Anyway... more on that later.

Re: Turnloveinsideout.

I want to make sure you know. I am not quitting or abandoning this website. Neither are the owners... The owners of the Site, and The Turnloveinsideout url and trademark; the people who developed the site and its purpose, aka Jim and Anne, are simply moving it to the Divine Nobodies Network (link posted soon).

Jim and Anne, originally asked me to blog here almost 3 years ago...can it be? or was is just two. July 2007 I believe, yes just two. OK

Now, Jim and Anne are involved in a wonderful on-line community "Divine Nobodies", which is inclusive of "divine-nobody lovers" (like me) (and you too of course)

Jim and Anne asked me to move my blogging their TLIO site on the Divine Nobodies Network. They asked me to lead/facilitate it , which I am not sure I know how to do, but I will give it my Spirit!

Please note my emphasis on they "asked" me. This is important. More on this later.

I may also continue to blog here on Blogger - turnloveinsideout blogspot, or word press (someone told me it was more user friendly), or I may blog on my own website or my myspace page. I dont know yet.

God's Spirit is Everywhere!
The spirit I carry in my body is God's Spirit.
His Spirit is inside everybody!
It is realized by those who are open to It and accept It,.
I am occupied with It :o)
I know this.
I am convinced of it, and I have confidence in it.
I am human too tho,
so I have all the bodily and mental struggles that come along with beig Human.
But I know with out a doubt, My Spirit is God's Spirit.

I don't deserve It.
I never expect it when I feel It - maybe I am getting there though.
I can't plan for It - maybe I am getting there though.

I can count on It (God's Spirit) to do with me what He Wills not what I will.

God bless you.
Peace and Love
Keren

Easter 2009 - Wednesday

2009-04-15T21:46:00.004-04:00

I will write more tomorrow morning.
I have a bad cough, I am very busy at work,
and I am going back to a previous employer the end of this month - so alot has to be done between now and then.

Him is doing well after his surgeries, he is considering going back to work sooner than we expected, I am not sure he is ready though.

I have alot to talk about...
I wanted to tell you about "Kasimir" but
havent figured out what and/or how or even if.

Oh and....also..this website will be going away soon
my home base for blogging will be on the Divine Nobodies Network. I will post a link soon.

I am in the process of major transformation.
Please pray for me.

Jesus's eyes closed in my chest on the Vigil was something I have read about but didnt expect inside of me.

I also didnt expect the next day to feel Him wake-up inside me... larger than I could ever expect or even understand.

Woke me up too as I wrote in my Easter post.

Nothing to call Oprah about ....
yet....
:O)

Love K

2009 Easter Tuesday

2009-04-14T21:18:00.009-04:00

It was suggested to me, by a most awesomely holy=most wonderfully human friend, that I continue my "series" of daily blogs through the octave of Easter, and I will tomorrow.

Now, I want to begin again with Holy Saturday Mass - the Easter Vigil that I attended.

The sanctuary is very crowded, standing room only
I am sitting in the back, the next to last pew.
My pastor recommends a meditative approach to the Mass.
I close my eyes,
I am holding something within my chest
another cough probably,
a lung,
a breath,
lights beginning behind my eyes,
and so it happened..
I saw the face of Jesus
He was sleeping,
His eyes closed.
that's all I could see inside of me that night.

Happy Easter

2009-04-12T13:03:00.008-04:00

The blare of the trumpet inside my sleepy soul
sounds the Commencement.

It is heard by my conscience.

What is my conscience?

It feels like Jesus… rising inside of me.
Urging me to right not wrong.

Respond Little clown, let's Love.
Together let's hunt the elusive egg.
React - Rise to the Resurrection inside of you, happening now

Holy Saturday: The Easter Vigil

2009-04-11T18:46:00.010-04:00

Something happens as I sleep in the dark...
the warmth of Your breath on my cheek,
the fragrance of the garden on my shoulder,
vibrations in my ear, my skin tingling...
Your voice purring my name.

Even with the stain of apple still on my face,
could it be?…You actually came to forgive me too?

Awake o sleeper, get up - let’s go on,
I did not create you to be apart from me,
I created you so we could be together.

(FYI today is the 5th anniversary of something happening to me... my baptism ..in case anyone wants to know...Easter Vigil, April 10, 2004 :o)
*****

Ancient Holy Saturday Homily
by Bishop Melito of Sardis (180 ad ?)
Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: “My Lord be with you all.” Christ answered him: “And with your spirit.” He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”
I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell.

Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated. For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree.

I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.

Good Friday: A Good Friday Tribute to St. Joan of Arc

2009-04-10T09:17:00.009-04:00

Voices of Light/VI. Torture (Voice) - Netherlands Radio Choir;Netherlands Radio Philharmonic;Anonymous 4;Steven Mercurio

(Jesus's Passion helps us bear our own pains and those of our loved ones...Contemplating the taste of gall as well as the taste honey....K)

From Richard Einhorns’ Voices of Light:
the Passion of St. Joan of Arc
The Netherlands Radio Chorus and Anonymous 4

"Torture"

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt, early 14th
Century visionary and poet.

Et desiderabam videre vel saltem illud
parum de carne Christi quod portaverant
clavi in ligno.

And I longed to see at least that little bit of
Christ's flesh that the nails had fixed to the
wood.
Blessed Angela of Foligno

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

...ostendit cor suum perforatum quasi ad
modum portulae unius parvae laternae ...
quod ex ipso corde exiverunt radii solares.
Imo solaribus radiis clariores...

He showed [her] his heart, perforated like
the openings in a small lantern...From his
very heart issued forth rays of the sun --no
--- brighter than the sun's rays...
Na Prous Boneta

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

...«non est aequum, velle solum de melle
meo gustare, et non de felle: si perfecte vis
mecum uniri, mente intenta recogita
illusiones, opprobria, flagella, mortem, et
tormenta, quae pro te sustinui.»

..."It is not fair to wish to taste only of my
honey, and not the gall. If you wish to be
perfectly united with me, contemplate
deeply the mockery, insults, whippings,
death and torments that I endured for
you."
Blessed Margarita, disciple of St.
Umiltà, 14th Century.

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

**************
(excerpts from Mark Twain’s essay on St. Joan of Arc – I put the full article in a comment to this blog -

I am fascinated by Mark Twain (a religious curmudgeon to say the least)... particularly I am fascinated by his interest, no..better said .. his LOVE...across-the-centuries-love of St Joan of Arc.

I can only imagine what went through the mind and heart of this creator of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, when he first read the recently released (at that time) transcripts, first written in Modern French of her trial. To me it is ironic that his many of his books received the same fate as did St. Joan.)

"...She was deeply religious, and believed that she had daily speech with angels; that she saw them face to face, and that they counselled her, comforted and heartened her, and brought commands to her direct from God. She had a childlike faith in the heavenly origin of her apparitions and her Voices, and not any threat of any form of death was able to frighten it out of her loyal heart. She was a beautiful and simple and lovable character. In the records of the Trials this comes out in clear and shining detail. She was gentle and winning and affectionate, she loved her home and friends and her village life; she was miserable in the presence of pain and suffering; she was full of compassion: on the field of her most splendid victory she forgot her triumphs to hold in her lap the head of a dying enemy and comfort his passing spirit with pitying words; in an age when it was common to slaughter prisoners she stood dauntless between hers and harm, and saved them alive; she was forgiving, generous, unselfish, magnanimous; she was pure from all spot or stain of baseness. And always she was a girl; and dear and worshipful, as is meet for that estate: when she fell wounded, the first time, she was frightened, and cried when she saw her blood gushing from her breast; but she was Joan of Arc! and when presently she found that her generals were sounding the retreat, she staggered to her feet and led the assault again and took that place by storm.

There is no blemish in that rounded and beautiful character.

Taking into account, as I have suggested before, all the circumstances -- her origin, youth, sex, illiteracy, early environment, and the obstructing conditions under which she exploited her high gifts and made her conquests in the field and before the courts that tried her for her life, -- she is easily and by far the most extraordinary person the human race has ever produced."

Lent 2009: Day 44 (Holy Thursday)

2009-04-09T23:18:00.002-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Taw (part 2)
Keep your hand ready to help me,
for I have chosen your precepts.
I long for your salvation, LORD;
your teaching is my delight.
Let me live to praise you;
may your edicts give me help.
I have wandered like a lost sheep;
seek out your servant,
for I do not forget your commands.
*****

So when he had washed their feet
and put his garments back on and reclined at table again,
he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?
You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am.
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another's feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do."
John 13 12-15
***

Jesus knew what it is like to be the good shepherd.
The paths we sheep wander through in this life are not always through gardens and parks.

Our journey demands repeated exposure to muck...i.e., emotions, anger, fear, self-pity, jealousy, dullard-ness, misunderstanding and other aspects of ourselves we would simply rather others not see.

Look at Him.
He is naked... without pretense or defense,
He stoops and gently washes the
parts that carry us in this journey
that naturally get dirty from the
places we must go.

He does not ask us to prove our cleanliness
he knows where we need washing, and
he stoops and washes us,
and then
he instructs us,
"have love for one another, in this way, as I have loved you”

The Love that shows all you are a disciple
is being naked with Him...
(naked means without the cover of righteousness, powerful positions, pretense or defense)

Disciples become naked together
We stoop and gently wash the parts that
carry each other, our brothers and sisters,
Wash them in the pure Eucharistic act
of the naked body of Christ working inside of us.

The naked Love inside us is our salvation.

Lent 2009: Day 43 (Holy Week Wednesday)

2009-04-08T20:22:00.002-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Taw (Part 1)

Let my cry come before you, LORD;
in keeping with your word give me discernment.
Let my prayer come before you;
rescue me according to your promise.
May my lips pour forth your praise,
because you teach me your laws.
May my tongue sing of your promise,
for all your commands are just.
*****
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

John 3:16
***

Heavenly Father:
Love is your just and eternal command, yet
even today, It takes courage (heart) to say the words…

“I am a human with a bit of divinity who wants to walk the way of Jesus”
“I am weak and cannot do it alone”
“I am wanting what Jesus gives”
“I am a Christian”
“I am a follower of Christ”
It takes heart.

Yes, some people get it wrong, and
It is not easy to forgive them, and
it is not easy to forgive ourselves.
It takes heart.

Don’t run away!
Without fear, don’t be afraid of the Word inside of you!

Love is a like bell that is struck in your heart and resonates
as it moves to your finger tips and toes…
other parts of you too… I know you have felt it there!
and also…your throat and
when it rolls off your tongue
and vibrates through your lips,
it rings throughout the universe,
…no matter the size of the sound…
even if it is a whisper...,
especially if it is a prayer that is first whispered inside your heart,
A secret… whispered to your heart from your soul.
Jesus is Love!

Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 42 (Holy Week Tuesday)

2009-04-07T20:29:00.009-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love (Holy Week Tuesday)

Shin (part 2)
Lovers of your teaching have much peace;
for them there is no stumbling block.
I look for your salvation, LORD,
and I fulfill your commands.
I observe your decrees;
I love them very much.
I observe your precepts and decrees;
all my ways are before you.
*****
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." (Jesus) said to him, "Feed my sheep.
Excerpt John 21
***
On a very human level, this has been another crummy Lent for me
I have missed every special event at church.
I have wanted to be there with my friends, singing and having Mass
and Lenten suppers listening and learning from the various
speakers or mission programs, enriching my spiritual life with the brothers and sisters in my church community.

Instead I have needed to take care of my husband prior to and during and after his hospitalization which included two surgeries - one planned for, one not.
He would tell me “go ahead and go” but I couldn’t do that, he is a sheep too.

Now tonight I am missing the Chrism Mass with the bishop and all the diocese priests because I have a flat-out nasty miserable cold.

On a spiritual level, I suppose I am blessed with this sort of Lent. No matter what discipline for Fasting, prayer and almsgiving I choose. I can always count on the Holy Spirit to drive me into my own personal desert to meet the devil on terms I need to meet it on.

As miserable as I have been these last few weeks, and as miserable I am even now, I feel the space/the emptiness created by them misery. Now there is more space in me for the angels to come to me, more room for them to breathe beside me and with me, more space for them to do ministry to me. (I have had some wonderful blessings I will tell about later).

And the saints… I have gone back to some of my old friends and met some new ones. Theresa of the Little Way for example, I have not read much about her other than what is commonly known. I didn’t know she had a strong desire to be a priest, and great frustration because she couldn’t.

Through this blog exercise, I have learned to use the Holy scriptures, trying to look past the individual sentences or phrases into a deeper meaning for me and how the Holy Word is a reflection of my daily life and spiritual growth, and..how I am a reflection of It.

All this, not because I have the need to be autonomous and on my own, I don’t. I don’t want to be on my own.

I need people very much and have no problem asking for help,
(but sometimes with people “askin’ ain’t gettin’” to quote Pork from Gone with the Wind)

I need teachers and shepherds and friends and family though I can’t always choose where I am and what I am doing nor with whom. God chooses that for me.

I am feeling more and more how the gift of Jesus and his Spirit truly allow us to have real experiences of our Creator inside of us – particularly in pain – a slowness, an unhurriedness...a peace. I recognise it most when I notice myself "losing it" if that makes sense.

Ultimately,
my life – this one and all of its potential iterations -
is, first and last, all about me and God, and how
“we am” together,
I think that is the same for all of us..

Dear Heavenly Father,
please heal my runny nose,
and then lets talk some more about those sheep.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 41

2009-04-06T20:46:00.004-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love (Holy Week Monday)

Shin (part 1)

Princes persecute me without reason,
but my heart reveres only your word.
I rejoice at your promise,
as one who has found rich spoil.
Falsehood I hate and abhor;
your teaching I love.
Seven times a day I praise you
because your edicts are just.

***
When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore; but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to them, "Children, have you caught anything to eat?" They answered him, "No."
So he said to them, "Cast the net over the right side of the boat and you will find something." So they cast it, and were not able to pull it in because of the number of fish.
**

Father, who I know from the rich spoil of Jesus:
So often I let someone knock the wind out of my sails,
more often, I simply forget to breathe,
in and out, in and out.
Let me catch Your breaths!
How are they numbered?
what is the count?
Please let me inhale and exhale in sync with your perfect number.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 40

2009-04-05T19:04:00.005-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
(Palm Sunday - beginning of Holy Week)

Resh (part 2)
Though my persecutors and foes are many
I do not turn from your decrees.
I view the faithless with loathing,
because they do not heed your promise.
See how I love your precepts, LORD;
in your kindness give me life.
Your every word is enduring;
all your just edicts are forever.

*****
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you."
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

(Jesus) said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you."
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained."

(Excerpt John 20)
***

Dear Father who sent us divine Peace through Jesus:
I see Your Edicts working in me,
when I have been in a difficult situation
and only feel intense Love.

I don’t try to forgive it just happens.
I don’t try to Love, it just happens

Help me-forgiving-myself just happen too…
Actually…help me let go of myself –
I want to give it to You
in exchange for complete reception of Your Spirit.

I suppose I need to let it just happen.

Help me have this prescience within my daily panorama
within every breath of my existence.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 39

2009-04-04T17:43:00.002-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Resh
Look at my affliction and rescue me,
for I have not forgotten your teaching.
Take up my cause and redeem me;
for the sake of your promise give me life.
Salvation is far from sinners
because they do not cherish your laws.
Your compassion is great, O LORD;
in accord with your edicts give me life.
*****
……..But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been.
And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him."

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. …
(excerpt John 20)
***
Heavenly Father whose Edict is Love
Thank you for Mary of Magdala
she is a friend of my saint Veronica.

Mm friend heard me crying
and supported me with your Voice.

Sometimes my heart gets twisted out of shape
and to protect it, I don’t let it listen like it could.
Now, it is hearing the things I started to forget
Its shape is returning,
turning around to greet You in me.

Thank you for the gift of angels:
the gift of patient friends, teachers, pastors;
the gift of your Word flowing through them
to us.

Lent 2009: Day 38

2009-04-03T21:19:00.002-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alpahbet
Psalm 119

Qoph (Part 2)

Hear my voice in your love, O LORD;
by your edict give me life.
Malicious persecutors draw near me;
they are far from your teaching.
You are near, O LORD;
reliable are all your commands.
Long have I known from your decrees
that you have established them forever. *****

Joseph of Arimathea, secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body.

Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds.

They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom.

Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried.

So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.
(excerpt John 19)
***
O Papa-me-fella,
A friend I need,
A friend of body-of-Christ with me
Fear of dark not allowed,
(fear of everything else expected and understood,
we can hold each other’s hands)
Secretly at night whatever it be,
Ritual and tradition transform when free

Lent 2009: Day 37

2009-04-02T20:47:00.009-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Qoph
I call with all my heart, O LORD;
answer me that I may observe your laws.
I call to you to save me
that I may keep your decrees.
I rise before dawn and cry out;
I put my hope in your words.
My eyes greet the night watches
as I meditate on your promise.
*****
So Pilate said to him, "Do you not speak to me? Do you not know that I have power to release you and I have power to crucify you?"

Jesus answered (him), "You would have no power over me if it had not been given to you from above. For this reason the one who handed me over to you has the greater sin."
(excerpt John 19)
***

Dear Heavenly Father, whom we know in the name of Jesus,

Hear me please,
and let me look a little with your eyes.

My sight will have to be brightened.
Then, I can glimpse infinity in the face of my brothers and sisters,
then, I can glimpse infinity in the face of my self.

My self could be darkened-dark by all that bright,
but then,
I would truly become lovely, ever so divine.

Amen,
Love
Keren

Lent 2009: Day 36

2009-04-01T20:43:00.006-04:00

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Sadhe (part 2)
Though belittled and despised,
I do not forget your precepts.
Your justice is forever right,
your teaching forever true.
Though distress and anguish come upon me,
your commands are my delight.
Your decrees are forever just;
give me discernment that I may live
***
Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, "You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?" He said, "I am not."
The slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire that they had made, because it was cold, and were warming themselves. Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and about his doctrine. ……Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?" ….Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas 11 the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm. And they said to him, "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" He denied it and said, "I am not."
.... a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, "Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"
Again Peter denied it.
(excerpts John 18)
***

I can only imagine that Peter beat himself up for this over and over again until his, and our, redemption by the risen Christ.

Peter later wrote to persecuted Christians, “For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God” (1 Peter 2:20).

K...It is one thing if you are “beat-up” (hurt) because of your bad/wrong doings and go ahead and take it like a man.

However, to be "hurt" because of your good/right doings and take it, you are taking it like Jesus.

It is not only commendable to God, it is a sign of God working inside you.

and in that regard (when hurt for doing good) - it is not your “imperfection” that is being hurt by the person doing the hurting,
it is the "hurter's" lack of belief in the totality of God’s perfection/love that he or she is trying to beat up.

hmmmm...huh?

I suppose the heart of the matter, is that God forgives us, through the redemptive act of Jesus's life death and resurrection we are forgiven...

...when we can forgive ourselves and others, as opposed to beating up, we are letting God's ways work through with and in us.

----
Lenten journey ponderings and wanderings
:o)

Lent 2009: Day 35

2009-03-31T17:17:00.004-04:00

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Sadhe (part 1)
You are righteous, LORD,
and just are your edicts.
You have issued your decrees in justice
and in surpassing faithfulness.
I am consumed with rage,
because my foes forget your words.
Your servant loves your promise;
it has been proved by fire.
***

Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave's name was Malchus.
Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword into its scabbard. Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"
*****

Doesn’t it seem like Peter could have written the Sadhe stanza?
He was consumed with love! Earlier, enough to walk on water with Jesus for a moment. Then later, enough to strike the high priest’s slave in defense of Jesus.

I wonder if Peter felt that he would be drinking his own cup from the Father, when Jesus told Peter that he would deny Him three times?

Afterwards,
*Did he simply accept this as part of his destiny to be fulfilled?
or knowing how excitable Peter could be...
*did he burn in shame and guilt from denying his Lord?
*or perhaps a little bit of both...?

my heart goes out to the disintegrating/suffering Peter in his passion.

Lent 2009: Day 34

2009-03-30T17:36:00.004-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
Pe (Part 2)

Steady my feet in accord with your promise;
do not let iniquity lead me.
Free me from human oppression,
that I may keep your precepts.
Let your face shine upon your servant;
teach me your laws.
My eyes shed streams of tears
because your teaching is not followed.
***
Holy Father, keep them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one just as we are….

[Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
Righteous Father, the world also does not know you, but I know you, and they know that you sent me.

I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them."
Excerpt John 17
***
When My husband was in ICU it was difficult and made me sad when the nurse would tell me it was time for me to leave unit.
It is difficult to be away from people you love, particularly when they might be feeling bad, and when you have no control over when you can see them.
Love is so good though.
To, me just knowing someone loves me(aka cares about me)steadies me somehow, no matter where they are,
I hope that is so for you too
It is great when you get to see their face though :o)

Lent 2009: Day 33

2009-03-29T10:49:00.003-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Pe (part 1)
Wonderful are your decrees;
therefore I observe them.
The revelation of your words sheds light,
gives understanding to the simple.
I sigh with open mouth,
yearning for your commands.
Turn to me and be gracious,
your edict for lovers of your name.
*****

"I revealed your name to those whom you gave me out of the world.
They belonged to you, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word.

Now they know that everything you gave me is from you,
because the words you gave to me I have given to them, and they accepted them and truly understood that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me.

I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for the ones you have given me, because they are yours,
and everything of mine is yours and everything of yours is mine, and I have been glorified in them."

(excerpt John 17)
***
Dear Heavenly Word as in Jesus:
Let me be your Divine Lover
out of the box
Let me be simple, plain, empty
open the bottom as well as the top
so Everything I Am be You

Lent Day 32

2009-03-28T10:59:00.005-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Ayin (part 2)
I am your servant; give me discernment
that I may know your decrees.
It is time for the LORD to act;
they have disobeyed your teaching.
Truly I love your commands
more than the finest gold.
Thus I follow all your precepts;
every wrong way I hate
*****

Jesus answered them, "Do you believe now?

"Behold, the hour is coming and has arrived when each of you will be scattered to his own home
and you will leave me alone.
But I am not alone,
because the Father is with me.

I have told you this so that you might have peace in me.
In the world you will have trouble,
but take courage,
I have conquered the world."
(excerpt John 16)
***

Alone with the Father
Together for the world

it's what divine nobodies do

2009-03-27T21:47:00.002-04:00

Do me a favor, watch this brief video. I realize it’s a commercial. But if you can, put everything aside for just a few moments, and watch and listen with your heart.

If people can can “buy and sell goods and services directly to each other - honestly, fairly, and openly,” can’t people share their spiritual journey with each other - honestly, fairly, and openly?

It says, “Every day millions of Ebay users come together to trade and share their knowledge, passion, and interests with each other.” Can’t people come together every day and trade their stories, share from their experience, and encourage one another along in the mutual desire for freedom and truth?

I believe they can…we can.

I believe you and I and people everywhere can be a community. And like a street or neighborhood or a town, that we can take care of each other, help each other, do right by each other, listen to each other, be there for each other. That despite our differences and wherever we happen to be on the journey, that we can see and affirm the good in each other and learn from each other. It’s what divine nobodies do.

It is these thoughts and feelings that motivated the idea of the Divine Nobodies Network. It won’t be officially launched until May, but I want to invite you to join and begin poking around and creating your space.
I close my eyes and imagine that with every nobody who joins, every story shared, every photograph and video and song uploaded, every discussion or conversation or note or comment or email, every new group, ever interaction and new friendship, every expression of compassion and love and acceptance, and the face-to-face enounters and friendships that are born…that each and every one of these will move all of us a little closer to the truth.

…and that we will see and experience that the strength of our community is not in one but in all - the power of all of us together in the Divine Nobodies Network.

(photo by zoo gal)

Lent 2009: Day 31

2009-03-27T18:22:00.005-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through The Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Ayin (part 1)

I have fulfilled your just edict;
do not abandon me to my oppressors.
Guarantee your servant's welfare;
do not let the arrogant oppress me.
My eyes long to see your salvation
and the justice of your promise.
Act with kindness toward your servant;
teach me your laws.
*****

But now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me,
'Where are you going?'
But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts.
But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.

[when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming.
He will glorify me, because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.]
(excerptS John 16)
***

In abandonment and oppression
There is opportunity for surprise
Love remains.
It is found in the Spirit of Truth
The heart takes from what is Jesus
and allows us to go deep enough
to touch the essence, the bottom line,
the heart of any matter

Lent 2009: Day 30

2009-03-26T21:52:00.002-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Samekh (part 2)

Strengthen me that I may be safe,
ever to contemplate your laws.
You reject all who stray from your laws,
for vain is their deceit.
Like dross you regard all the wicked on earth;
therefore I love your decrees.
My flesh shudders with dread of you;
I hold your edicts in awe.
*****

"When the Advocate comes whom I will send you from the Father, the Spirit of truth that proceeds from the Father, he will testify to me.
And you also testify, because you have been with me from the beginning."

(Excerpt John 15)

Lent 2009: Day 29

2009-03-25T11:01:00.005-04:00

Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119
the Spiritual Alphabet

Samekh

I hate every hypocrite;
your teaching I love.
You are my refuge and shield;
in your word I hope.
Depart from me, you wicked,
that I may observe the commands of my God.
Sustain me by your promise that I may live;
do not disappoint me in my hope.
*****

It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.

This I command you: love one another

(excerpt John 15)

Dear Heavenly Father

Thank you for giving us Jesus who would
choose from among men and women to
appoint those as His Lovers who
bear lasting fruit by
Your Command to Love

Love us,
Care for us,
Understand us,
heal us,
according to Your will,
in His Name
Amen

Lent 2009: Day 28

2009-03-24T04:44:00.004-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Nun (part 2)

My life is always at risk,
but I do not forget your teaching.
The wicked have set snares for me,
but from your precepts I do not stray.
Your decrees are my heritage forever;
they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on fulfilling your laws;
they are my reward forever.
*****

Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me.
"I have told you this while I am with you.
The Advocate, the holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name-
-he will teach you everything and remind you of all that (I) told you.

Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

(excerpt John 14)

Lent 2009: Day 27

2009-03-23T05:49:00.003-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Nun
Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light for my path.
I make a solemn vow
to keep your just edicts.
I am very much afflicted, LORD;
give me life in accord with your word.
Accept my freely offered praise;
LORD, teach me your decrees.
*****

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.
Where (I) am going you know the way."

Thomas said to him, "Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?"
Jesus said to him, "I am the way and the truth and the life.

(excerpt John 14)

Lent 2009: Day 26

2009-03-22T10:08:00.010-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
Mem (part 2)

I keep my steps from every evil path,
that I may obey your word.
From your edicts I do not turn,
for you have taught them to me.
How sweet to my tongue is your promise,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Through your precepts I gain insight;
therefore I hate all false ways.
*****
I give you a new commandment:
love one another.
As I have loved you,
so you also should love one another.

This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another."

(excerpt John 13)

Lent 2009: Day 25

2009-03-21T08:45:00.002-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119
The Spiritual Alphabet

Mem (part 1)
How I love your teaching, Lord!
I study it all day long.
Your command makes me wiser than my foes,
for it is always with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers,
because I ponder your decrees.
I have more insight than my elders,
because I observe your precepts.
*****
So when he had washed their feet (and) put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?

You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so,
for indeed I am.

If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another's feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you,
you should also do.

Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.

If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.
I am not speaking of all of you.
I know those whom I have chosen.

Lent 2009: Day 24 (a little early)

2009-03-19T22:07:00.008-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Lamedh (part 2)

I am yours; save me,
for I cherish your precepts.
The wicked hope to destroy me,
but I pay heed to your decrees.
I have seen the limits of all perfection,
but your command is without bounds.

*****

I am troubled now. Yet what should I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour...

....I came into the world as light, so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness.
And if anyone hears my words and does not observe them, I do not condemn him, for I did not come to condemn the world but to save the world.

*
Fear no more, O daughter Zion; see, your king comes, seated upon an ass's colt."

(Excerpts John12)

Lent 2009: Day 23

2009-03-19T07:59:00.002-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Lamedh (part 1)
Your word, LORD, stands forever;
it is firm as the heavens.
Through all generations your truth endures;
fixed to stand firm like the earth.
By your edicts they stand firm to this day,
for all things are your servants.
Had your teaching not been my delight,
I would have perished in my affliction.
I will never forget your precepts;
through them you give me life.
*****
Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.

They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.

Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair;

the house was filled with the fragrance

(excerpt John 12)

Lent 2009: Day 22 (a little early)

2009-03-17T21:45:00.005-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Kaph (Part 2)
When will your edict doom my foes?
The arrogant have dug pits for me;
defying your teaching.
All your commands are steadfast.
Help me! I am pursued without cause.
They have almost ended my life on earth,
but I do not forsake your precepts.
In your kindness give me life,
to keep the decrees you have spoken.
*****
Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in a day?
If one walks during the day, he does not
stumble,
because he sees the light of this world.

But if one walks at night,
he stumbles,
because the light is not in him."

….."I am the resurrection and the life;
whoever believes in me, even if he dies,
will live,
and everyone who lives and believes in me
will never die.

Do you believe this?"

(excerpts John 11)

Lent 2009: Day 21

2009-03-17T08:04:00.004-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Kaph (Part 1)

My soul longs for your salvation;
I put my hope in your word.
My eyes long to see your promise.
When will you comfort me?
I am like a wineskin shriveled by smoke,
but I have not forgotten your laws.
How long can your servant survive?
*****

And Jesus raised his eyes and said,

"Father, I thank you for hearing me.
I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me."

And when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice,

"Lazarus, come out!"

The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them,

"Untie him and let him go."

(excerpt from John 11)

Lent 2009: Day 20

2009-03-15T20:10:00.005-04:00

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Yodh (part 2)
Show me compassion that I may live,
for your teaching is my delight.
Shame the proud for oppressing me unjustly,
that I may study your precepts.
Let those who fear you turn to me,
those who acknowledge your decrees.
May I be wholehearted toward your laws,
that I may not be put to shame.
****
I am compassionate: Forgiveness Understanding and Clarifying Expectations.

I’m writing Day 20 now because my husband is scheduled for surgery tomorrow and will be in the hospital most of the week. There may be a complicating factor which I wont mention now, but I will let you know – some worthwhile things are never easy.

All in all, I was wondering how I was going to write my "Lenten daily” in the hosptial, because I do not have a laptop, and lo and behold, today, my lovely friend Lyn offered to loan me hers. Tomorrow, however, I am going to try to go to Mass first thing so I probably won’t have time to do anything else before we leave for the hospital.

My “I am light” post this morning, quickly turned into “I am wanting to throw up”. I am nervous about this week. This will be the third big surgery my husband has had in less than two years. I am sure he will be fine but there is just so much ….I cant even begin to describe.

I feel bad about being upset and even cranky with mmy friends these last few days. I am trying to ride out an emotionl time and have used this blog to express some, not all, of my feelings, and I am afraid it sometimes doesn’t make sense to many and probably may seem hurtful to others. I don’t know.

Talking about things is always best. In absence of that, holding situations and people in your heart is all you can do, yet sometimes my heart is a turbulent place so whoever I put in there with me may be along for a bumpy ride.

Why are we hardest on the ones we love most? I have said before that perhaps it is because we know they will always love us back. They will forgive our stupidness, etc. because they love us

Forgiveness is something I have been studying for a while now.

I can usually rationalize every bad thing I have ever done to a person, I can rationalize every bad thing someone has done to me.

When I really really can’t understand why someone has done something bad to me, especially if it is in the past and something I thought I had gotten over and I keep going back to when I am upset….that is when I should recognize that it is me I really really need to forgive most.

When I can recognize and forgive my lack of understanding,
I can then forgive people who hurt me.

Recognizing your own lack of understanding can be egoblasting and heart wreching. It is not necessarily easy, but once done...it is healing for all involved (I hope)!

Clarify expectations:
This is number one rule of servanthood.
A servant needs to know what her responsibilities are.
There are lots of other servants in the palace. What are my duties?
What do the people I serve need from me?

Usually the best thing to do for the “Master” is anything that helps Him get His job done. What is His big picture? what are His goals? what is His desire?

It seems in my experience as a Servant working for the Master, preventing bottleneck is a major responsibility. Helping keep open and moving the flow of "information" between the Master and all of his people so everyone can do their part, so no part is hindered, is one thing a trusted servant does.

Rise out of obscurity into clarity.

Lent 2009: Day 19

2009-03-15T10:37:00.005-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Yodh (part 1)
Your hands made me and fashioned me;
give me insight to learn your commands.
Those who fear you rejoice to see me,
because I hope in your word.
I know, LORD, that your edicts are just;
though you afflict me, you are faithful.
May your love comfort me
in accord with your promise to your servant.
*****
This is so great! Yodh begins I Am.
The one-word name of the absolute perfection
who made us and fashioned us.

Yodh-He-Vau-He (YHWH)– it can only
be pronounced correctly deep in the soul.
We sing it as Yahweh.

This is Us! Ours, mine and yours and everyone’s.
Spiritual teachers today are teaching us to manifest the “perfection” we were born with, by naming our essence.
What is your essence?
What are your seven I am statements?

My essence is light,
I am light for the world
I am filled with The Holy Spirit
I am courage (heart)
I am victory (glory)
I am a receptacle for the Great Beautifier
I am an enneagram 3 – The Achiever (latent obviously) – with a romantic 4 wing ;o)
(no...forget that one)
I am patience
I am for-giving

Instructions heard last night in a dream for growth:

Child! Stop walking backwards, you don’t need to get wet so often
Come My way
Rise out of obscurity

Lent 2009: Day 18

2009-03-14T11:29:00.007-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Teth (part 2)
The arrogant smear me with lies,
but I observe your precepts with all my heart.
Their hearts are gross and fat;
as for me, your teaching is my delight.
It was good for me to be afflicted,
in order to learn your laws.
Teaching from your lips is more precious to me
than heaps of silver and gold.
*****
I don't have anyone smearing me with lies, not that I am aware of at least :o)
However...this stanza somehow brings to mind the book Thorn Birds, when the young and ambitious priest takes the young girl’s inheritance for himself and his ambition. He absolves himself of this sin by saying “it is for her own good – she (her family) would not know how to handle it – God would agree, God will understand”

Also reminds me of the joke…Three God-fearing men are left stranded on a remote deserted island. Two are panicking and making attempts at being rescued. The third sits back and says “Relax, have peace, don’t worry, we will be rescued soon”
The other two say “how can you have such faith?”
The third says
“I have no doubt, nor fear.
I donate $50,000 a week to my church,
my pastor will find me!!!”

O heavenly Love
I have been affirmed of my uselessness to others,
affirmed of my worldly inadequacy and incompetence...
and your Word has rescued me.

You laws are my adequacy and competence...
and I am enlightened in Your Presence.

I have nothing to donate except this Light you gave me to share.
Having Your Light is my most precious treasure...
and It goes with me everywhere I go

Teach me how to let it shine more,
and hide it less

Lent 2009: Day 17

2009-03-13T08:32:00.007-04:00

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119
*****
Teth (part 1)
You have treated your servant well,
according to your word, O LORD.
Teach me wisdom and knowledge,
for in your commands I trust.
Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I hold to your promise.
You are good and do what is good;
teach me your laws.
*****
There is no relationship when only one is responsive
How do you have a relationship with a wall?
I am not sure how to dance with a wall
Forget having an actual conversation with it
Kiss a wall and only taste its flatness

Love remains forever but relationships are fruitless
without mutual responding

You, O Lord,
I want to repond in unison with Your Perfect Will.
Teach me to leap over walls!
this would not even be possible before I was hurt,
but now I have Your promise,
please now give me a heart like David’s.

Lent 2009: Day 16

2009-03-12T08:09:00.008-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Heth (part 2)
At midnight I rise to praise you
because your edicts are just.
I am the friend of all who fear you,
of all who keep your precepts.
The earth, LORD, is filled with your love;
teach me your laws.
*****
I woke up in the middle of the night last night
and remembered this stanza of my Psalm 119.
It reminded me to count my blessings, and I did.

That reminded me how important it is to Love each other.
To ENCOURAGE each other.

All of our leaders need to learn this.

One encouraging word to a lowly person who is down,
from the mouth of a respected person in a leadership/ shepherding position,
can spark a flicker that becomes a flame.

Personal encouragement, a spoken word, particularly from a leader, can be healing and transforming.
The body of Christ,
i.e.,
the leader working with the Christ in him.

In that regard, to encourage, to allow Christ to work through you, requires vulnerability and that is not easy for some.

Dear President Obama:
Please encourage us to keep the hope alive!
We know times are very bad, we know it is not your fault.
Yet remember where and who we are!

We are resourceful, we are creative,
We are courageous and responsible,
We pull-up our boot straps and get the job done!
We do what it takes – we work together!
We are giving loving caring people - rich and poor alike.
We help each other, we share what we have and
We don’t need anyone or any institution to tell us to do it…
We do it because we are good people.

Not only can we get through this, we will!

The earth, LORD, is filled with your love;
teach us your laws. (Hint: Love God, Love Neighbor)

Lent 2009: Day 15

2009-03-11T08:09:00.007-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Heth (part 1)
My portion is the LORD;
I promise to keep your words.
I entreat you with all my heart:
have mercy on me in accord with your promise.
I have examined my ways
and turned my steps to your decrees.
I am prompt, I do not hesitate
in keeping your commands.
Though the snares of the wicked surround me,
your teaching I do not forget.
*****
I am silhouetted from the desert floor.
One side facing light, One side facing shadow.
Which side of me do you see?

You take away the sin of the world.
Have mercy on us, have mercy on me.

You are all I need.
Fill me, give me dimension.

I go on to sin no more.
Thank You for teaching them why
they could not stone me.

Lent 2009: Day 14

2009-03-10T08:10:00.007-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Zayin (part 2)
Rage seizes me because of the wicked;
they forsake your teaching.
Your laws become my songs
wherever I make my home.
Even at night I remember your name
in observance of your teaching, LORD.
This is my good fortune,
for I have observed your precepts.
*****
Your Spirit fills us with light.
When we work with your Love, we receive this treasure.

Problem is...
Sometimes there are so many clouds around me,
I can’t really see mine.
Some people actually love me enough to indicate they have seen it in me.
Patiently shining bright on its own,
just waiting for me to see it too.

Whenever I am ready.
It won’t matter where I am.

Lent 2009: Day 13

2009-03-09T07:55:00.004-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Zayin, (part 1)
Remember your word to your servant
by which you give me hope.
This is my comfort in affliction,
your promise that gives me life.
Though the arrogant utterly scorn me,
I do not turn from your teaching.
When I recite your edicts of old
I am comforted, LORD.
*****

Hello God! it is Monday, and as usual,
I would rather be playing.

Remember?
You promised…
Love to appease my soul when I have to accede to other’s demands.
Love for when people’s expectations of life and happy and work,
aren’t exactly the same as mine.

…life’s tough in the west

I won’t run away, as much as I may want to.
I recite your Word by heart.

Lent 2009: Day 12

2009-03-08T09:49:00.008-04:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Vau (part 2)
I will walk freely in an open space
because I cherish your precepts.
I will speak openly of your decrees
without fear even before kings.
I delight in your commands,
which I dearly love.
I lift up my hands to your commands;
I study your laws, which I love.
*****
Inside your Law
I can walk in liberty anywhere, anytime.
Like Jesus walking on the turbulent seas
Your Love is my buoyancy.

I am lifted up inside my praise for You;
in delight and gratitude for the love
and the lovers
You have given me for my crossing,
like the fair winds and the storms,
even the doldrums.

Your lessons remain in my heart and soul,
they are my ballast,
they steady me for the next turn.

Mmy aprrenticeship continues.
In Love, with You and all Your Creation,
inlcuding me
:o)

Lent 2009: Day 11

2009-03-07T08:32:00.005-05:00

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Vau (part 1)
Let your love come to me, LORD,
salvation in accord with your promise.
Let me answer my taunters with a word,
for I trust in your word.
Do not take the word of truth from my mouth,
for in your edicts is my hope.
I will keep your teachings always,
for all time and forever.
*****
Your Word is delicious!
Just a taste satisfies like nothing else can.
It reproduces itself, so the amount is unlimited,
and can be enjoyed
and shared with everyone who needs it.

It is the one-word answer You give me to give my taunters
Real and imagined...my internal reminders of regrets, fears, shames, and abuses.

What is the one-word answer?
Love.

“I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” ( John 6.51)

Lent 2009: Day 10

2009-03-06T07:15:00.004-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

He (part 2)
Avert my eyes from what is worthless;
by Your way give me life.
For your servant fulfill your promise
made to those who fear you.
Turn away from me the taunts I dread,
for your edicts bring good.
See how I long for your precepts;
in your justice give me life.
*****

Only through forgiveness and understanding do I find Your Way.
Help me know when it is time to kick the dust off my feet from useless pursuits.

The gifts You have given us have the potential to bring good to all of Your children.
I too am good enough to bear your gifts,
everywhere and at all times, not only under certain conditions.

All good works from the heart I do, I know it is not me, but You, doing the good work through me.

When criticized and negatively judged for giving with my heart,
Teach me to know it is ultimately You they are judging, not me.

I know you forgive and understand without hesitation, give me Your Way (please).

Lent 2009: Day 9

2009-03-05T07:24:00.005-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

He (part 1)
LORD, teach me the way of your laws;
I shall observe them with care.
Give me insight to observe your teaching,
to keep it with all my heart.
Lead me in the path of your commands,
for that is my delight.
Direct my heart toward your decrees
and away from unjust gain.

Dear Heavenly Love,
Let my Infirmity become Insight.
Teach me to heal,
then, In Your Spirit and Your truth, my wholeness will be able to transform.

Gently stir my soul, and slip some calmness back into my heart,
Steady my feet and lead the Way

Lent 2009: Day 8

2009-03-04T08:12:00.005-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Daleth, (part 2)
Lead me from the way of deceit;
favor me with your teaching.
The way of loyalty I have chosen;
I have set your edicts before me.
I cling to your decrees, LORD;
do not let me come to shame.
I will run the way of your commands,
for you open my docile heart.
*****

God gives some of us our own parched desert experience,
We dont need Lent to force our disciplines.
My sweet Him (husband) is having some very tough times.
It kills me inside. He has been through so much.
Someone once said he must have a tremendous soul,
and he does. God Loves him very much.

Heavenly Father, as yet I don’t always like Your Ways
but I am with You.
I love your Word, I love your Word in the form of Jesus who
showed us all of your Ways,
including facing our evils, death,resurrection, and life in the Spirit.
I am in training to receive all your commands,
as you continue to wrench open my heart,
Give me your living water, and please don’t let me fail too often.

Lent 2009: Day 7

2009-03-03T17:15:00.003-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Daleth (part 1)
I lie prostrate in the dust;
give me life in accord with your word.
I disclosed my ways and you answered me;
teach me your laws.
Make me understand the way of your precepts;
I will ponder your wondrous deeds.
I weep in bitter pain;
in accord with your word to strengthen me.
*****
Powerless, alone, not knowing what to do. Husband in pain, needing a major surgery. I hate it when he is pain. I hate it when I don’t know what to do to somehow get my way and I don’t even know what it is I’m asking for.

Please God, why don’t You spell it out for me?

I yearn for complete incorporation of Your Law of Love, your Living Water. What does that feel like?

You strengthen our spirit through suffering. Life is indestructible, the body is not.

Heavenly Father, knowing this does not make it easy, or make me always nice.

Lent 2009: Day 6

2009-03-02T09:15:00.010-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Gimel, (part 2)
With a curse you rebuke the proud
who stray from your commands.
Free me from disgrace and contempt,
for I observe your decrees.
Though princes meet and talk against me,
your servant studies your laws.
Your decrees are my delight;
they are my counselors.
*****
There is a reason Jesus came to us as a servant.
Jesus knew the "Princes" could only accept him,
and let him inside their eliteness, their inner circles,
if He were their servant, if He served them,
if He waited on them.
A servant can lovingly touch and care for the Prince in ways and in places his “equals” his “peers” may never be able to.

Dear heavenly Love, I keep my eyes and my heart on your laws of Love;
particularly forgiveness and understanding.
Your Laws of Love are my Spiritual Direction.
I am a student of servanthood.

Lent 2009: Day 5

2009-03-01T10:16:00.006-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Gimel, (part 1)
Be kind to your servant that I may live, that I may keep your word.
Open my eyes to see clearly the wonders of your teachings.
I am a sojourner in the land; do not hide your commands from me.
At all times my soul is stirred with longing for your edicts.
******
Let us live in Love Lord.
Help me see clearly my own reality and
how Your Love breathes life into me.
I have no “place,” no theory, no way-of-life to call my own,
except Your Way - Your Love.
I am breathless for Your Word throughout existence.
--
My husband, who has Parkinson’s disease, and degenerative spine disease, has been in a bad way. He has been doing great since his cervical spine surgery last May, but now all of a sudden he is back in treatment for some lower spine deterioration, and, most painful and debilitating, a bone spur poking into his spinal column. He will have a Myelogram early next week, in which a dye is injected in his spinal fluid and then x-rays are taken to determine places of stenosis (narrowing) or blockage. Then, next steps will be determined.

It seems Parkinson’s patients (“victims” as Him jokingly says) also many times suffer with spine deterioration, arthritis, bone spurs, etc. Pope John Paul II is a good example.

This lent, my fasting will include giving up self-medicating and hiding from my own reality;
my prayer continuous;
my almsgiving and giving of self led by my current commitments and ofcourse, the Spirit.

I pray for the intercession of Soon-to-be-Saint Pope John Paul II to Jesus to heal my husband’s disease and discomfort.

Peace
Keren

Lent 2009: Day 4

2009-02-28T11:56:00.010-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Beth, (part 2)
With my lips I recite all the edicts you have spoken.
I find joy in the way of your decrees more than in all riches.
I will ponder your precepts and consider your paths.
In your laws I take delight; I will never forget your word.
***
When Your Word kisses my lips
and my lips shape the sounds You bring forth,
Your Spirit bursts forth in my heart!
I try hold it there in cautious wonder,
yet I have no choice but to follow its path!

The gift of the Word/Jesus is my vital elan, and yours.
It is free for all of us!

The Word can be taken from me, but cannot be taken out of me.

Lent 2009: Day 3

2009-02-27T14:50:00.009-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Beth, (part 1)
How can the young walk without fault?
Only by keeping your words.
With all my heart I seek you;
do not let me stray from your commands.
In my heart I treasure your promise,
that I may not sin against you.
Blessed are you, O LORD;
teach me your laws.
*****
What did the Purest of Pure bring with him into desert?
How did He respond to his first temptation without fault?
Your Divine Word: "Man does not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God!"

I cherish Your Word, Your promise to Love me forever,
Teach me to bring Your Word/Your Love with me wherever I go,
and to whomever or whatever I encounter.

Lent 2009: Day 2

2009-02-26T23:02:00.011-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Aleph, (part two)
May my ways be firm in the observance of Your laws!
Then I will not be ashamed to ponder all Yur commands.
I will praise You with sincere heart as I study Your just edicts.
I will keep Your laws; do not leave me all alone.

*****
Would it please be Your will
that Your Love inside me should so increase,
that without shame,
I may admit all I am by Your virtue?

My delight will be pure, as will my heart!
I will closely study Your appearance
and bear Your ways of Loving

Oh, and…
Would it also please be Your will to never leave me all alone and to not put me to the test?

Lent 2009: Sustainable Love

2009-02-25T23:09:00.007-05:00

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Aleph
Happy those whose way is perfect,
who walk by the teaching of the LORD.
Happy those who observe God's decrees,
who seek the LORD with all their heart.
They do no wrong;
they walk in God's ways.
You have given them the command
to keep your precepts with care.

*********
His Spirit drives you and me into the experiences we need to walk in His perfect way.
His teaching, His Word, is "Love".
His Decrees: Love God, Love Neighbor
Seek Him using your heart as your guide, and you will walk in Him.
Indeed, he has given you and me the ability to bear His Love tenderly in our hearts.

I love my Mom

2009-02-23T07:22:00.004-05:00

I had a wonderful visit with my mother this weekend
She was in town for a seminar and spent the night
with us on Saturday and went to church with me on Sunday.

She loves going to my church, she has been with me 3-4 times now over the last few years.
She, like many people, had a lot of misconceptions (misunderstandings) of the Catholic Church. For example, our veneration of the blessed Mother.

Mom was inspired by the Mass, the prayers, and the music, but mainly by the love our parishioners have for each other.

You dont have to have to belong to a particular church or have a certain belief to recognise God/Love.

Churches do not have a lock on Love, but some, like mine, while certainly not perfect, seem to at least have a key :o)

Happy monday (bleccch)
Keren

Promise: Love will not destroy

2009-02-20T08:05:00.007-05:00

Love will endure. Even if you cannot see touch or hold it. It is always there. Sometimes it takes a few storms to realize the promise.

***
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken...

excerpt from William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116

His precious treasure: Us

2009-02-18T21:34:00.007-05:00

[…With one arm gently wrapped around her, he reads from an oversized storybook propped up in her lap. Slumped over against his shoulder, she is turned toward him with the top of her precious head resting against the side of his face. She can't walk or sit up straight, and offers only an occasional groan. She's just sitting there unresponsive, seemingly oblivious, as dad dutifully reads her a story, alternating his voice to impersonate the different characters.

[…she sits spellbound gazing into his face with her mouth slightly open with a smile. He's glued to the book; she's glued to him. What does she see? What does she feel? She seems so content and peaceful, at home really, resting her head against daddy's face, receiving his love. Then again, that's all she can do. She's not even capable of reciprocating her father's love, and yet I can see she is his most precious treasure…]

...excerpts from the book Divine Nobodies by Jim Palmer.

It seems I hear God's word clearer when I have been in an extended slump...when I cant seem to do anything right, have let people down, acted like a prima dona, cant keep my dishes washed or laundry off the floor.. flopping on the couch and hiding undercover from the world...I somehow still feel the warmth of His cheek and the sound of His voice telling me stories, and the comforting beat of His heart.

I pray and wish this for you too.

We have a God who just wants to Love us, and if anything, what He wants from us is to take comfort from and trust in Him.

Peace
Keren

Feeling the Prayers of Friends: Feeling the Love

2009-02-17T08:16:00.006-05:00

I worked at little a housecleaning this weekend
Late Saturday afternoon I took a nap
I heard a few words and Love (God) filled in the rest
Prayers washing me "clean" with the living water,
and you holding me in your hearts.

On Monday I read the words
another friend wanted me to hear, "I love you".

I am loved.
So are you and all of us.
Let's keep feeling it.

Happy Tuesday
Peace
Keren