Gathering up my broken pieces.
I sort them into two piles:
Forgotten and Remembered.
The memories remain with me,
the forgotten are forgiven.
I weep and I long for the pieces lost
and not yet found.
7.10.2009
7.06.2009
Day Off, Fireworks and Migraine Aura without Pain
I am off work today. I worked Saturday, so I am taking today off. A day to myself is such a treat.
On Saturday night, I took photos at a firework show where i work. Taking advice from a semi-professional photographer, I used a tripod, bought a remote shutter release, and let the camera do all the work. The camera shot about 600 frames. It is funny, it seems the camera got better taking the shots as the show progressed - the first ones are fuzzy and out of focus and the later ones are sharper.
Some of the photos remind me of an "aura" I experienced about 8-9 years ago, I have had a couple of smaller ones since then. The first time, I was 41-ish. It was a Saturday and my husband was at work for some reason, this was when he worked closer to home. I was drawing a picture (of my Mom actually) in the “breakfast nook” in our townhouse where we used to live. It was late afternoon about 3-4 oclock and all of a sudden my vision was filled with a bright jagged light . Like a jagged star ball. It was startling. It was almost like it was hurled at me. It stopped me where I was standing but didn’t really blind me, but I couldn’t focus on anything for the next 30 – 45 minutes. I looked at my watch and could barely read... it was "waverly" - uneven… like looking through glass or broken glass even. My eyes hurt too from the brightness. I somehow made my way to our bedroom and sat in the dark and called my husband who came immediately home and drove me to the emergency room. By the time we got to the hospital, the "visual disturbance" was over - it lasted 35-45, minutes. I went through several tests - several eye and retinal exams and a CAT scan on my head, and they wouldn’t let us leave the hospital until the radiologist had read the results - which were normal.
They sent me home after about 4 hours with two aspirins (even though I did not have a headache) the aspirin were "just in case."
The diagnosis was “Migraine Aura without Pain”
My Family Practitioner called me the following Monday morning after he received the reports from the ER and said that he had had such an occurrence too…. A “migraine aura without headache” He said it was rare but some people have the aura that some migraine sufferers have, but never have the subsequent headaches.
A few years later when I joined the inquiry group (RCIA) at the Catholic Church and started learning about the characters in the bible and the Saints, I learned that St. Paul had a similar experience (even though he was blinded for longer, and talked to Jesus), as did Hildegard Van Bingen (saint).
It made me wonder...had I been brought up in a spiritual/religious family would I have assumed I had a mystical experience, instead of a physical anomaly?
Also, brought up in the psychedelic 60's with tv and ever-advancing "special effects" on the movie screens, and bright images like fireworks being commonplace...in a world where we have quick access to physicians or emergency rooms...are we ignoring the messages we may be getting from 'the heavens" and explaining them away with medical science....
Or am I making too big a deal of this sort of thing now that I am "spiritual/religious"? who knows...
The "aura" did not herald a headache or pain, but it did usher in a new era for me..it was right about then that I began to listen to religious programming on the classical music station and first heard my pastor's radio ministry, where I first learned about Jesus in Loving way, and it was not too much longer when I started attending the inquiry classes at a catholic church of all things, then baptised, etc...
Yeah, I look at my aura as "special"
I have a friend who had a similar aura, his diagnosis was "epileptic aura without seizure" I am wondering...Have any of you ever had or heard of this sort of thing, if so did it seem to change you in a way?
6.28.2009
Look at Me ... believing...
What do you see when you first remember to believe?
***
You made me, I was born, You gave me a gift called "Life"
***
In the beginning, to keep you with Me, Life included the price of containing all that I have and all that I am.
The freedom for you to choose good and evil made empty what matters to Me.
Yet, when you remember and Life fills your soul and makes its place in your heart...
When I look at you believing, I see Me.
*****
REMINDER:
Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...
I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!
Visit divinenobodies
***
You made me, I was born, You gave me a gift called "Life"
***
In the beginning, to keep you with Me, Life included the price of containing all that I have and all that I am.
The freedom for you to choose good and evil made empty what matters to Me.
Yet, when you remember and Life fills your soul and makes its place in your heart...
When I look at you believing, I see Me.
*****
REMINDER:
Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...
I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!
Visit divinenobodies
6.22.2009
More From Saint Anthony
Hold your Faith with gentle fingers.
Give it room to breathe and move and grow.
Gripped with expectations it will wiggle squirm and perhaps even cry.
Take it with you everywhere you go.
Lay it next to you when you sleep.
It will wake you up when it is time to hold it.
Give it room to breathe and move and grow.
Gripped with expectations it will wiggle squirm and perhaps even cry.
Take it with you everywhere you go.
Lay it next to you when you sleep.
It will wake you up when it is time to hold it.
6.15.2009
Gerbera Love
Gerberas are high on my list of favorite flowers.
Brightly colored and expressive; they present a cheerful facade.
Smiles on clowns often mask a sorrowful heart.
The Gerbera Truth is revealed in those with dark centers.
Love (Agape, Eros, Caritas, etc) is the ultimate expression
of our deepest recognition of unity...
oneness.
Peace
Keren
REMINDER:
Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...
I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!
Visit divinenobodies
6.13.2009
In Honor of Saint Anthony - The Finder
Today (June 13) is the Feast Day of Saint Anthony of Padua (1195-1231) a Franciscan, and a Miracle Worker.
Born to a wealthy family, he declined the life of a nobleman and entered the Augustinian Abbey of St. Vincent – a scholarly order. He immersed himself in study of scripture; the writings of the Holy Fathers; and in prayer.
At one point he met *five Franciscan brothers who were traveling to preach to Muslims in Morocco. He later learned that they were martyred. Hearing the call to give away more of himself to follow Christ, he decided to join the Franciscan order, received approval from his superiors, and joined the Fransicans.
Once, he was he was chosen to give a homily when no one else was available. He was told to just let the Holy Spirit speak for him. He was nervous but the words sprang off his tongue, capturing the hearts and attention of everyone there.
Saint Francis of Assisi himself wrote Saint Anthony and asked him to be in charge of teaching theology to the brothers, who would then go out and preach the gospel to the world. However, he is now better known as an orator, rather than teacher. He spoke loud and clear and in a manner understandable by all people: the poor and the rich, the young and the old, the dull and the wise.
He spoke against heresy and moral duplicity. One time he preached for several days to a group of religious leaders and was welcomed on the last day by an empty room. Undeterred he went down to the seashore, where the river met the sea, and preached his faith to the fish - thousands of fish appeared to listen.
He had great compassion for the poor and oppressed, and many miracles are attributed to him. A few days before Saint Anthony’s death he saw and felt himself holding the baby Jesus. Someone looking through the window at the time indeed saw him with a baby.
Saint Anthony is best known as the Patron Saint of Lost Articles.
Saint Anthony’s life and ministry teach us how to be “Finders”:
- to carry our Faith the way we would hold a baby - firmly but with gentle fingers
- to listen for the call to follow Jesus and always be open for another yet deeper call
- to ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate us through prayer; in studying the Holy Scripture; and in studying the lives of Holy People
- to look for the simple truth in every situation, and
- to seek to taste the simple truth from our own tongue.
Saint Anthony was canonized less than one year after his death. He was made a Doctor of the Church in 1946 by Pope Pius XII.
(* note) The five Franciscan brothers martyred in Morocco were canonized by Sixtus IV in 1481: Saints Berardo, Pietro, Accursio, Adiuto and Ottone.
Born to a wealthy family, he declined the life of a nobleman and entered the Augustinian Abbey of St. Vincent – a scholarly order. He immersed himself in study of scripture; the writings of the Holy Fathers; and in prayer.
At one point he met *five Franciscan brothers who were traveling to preach to Muslims in Morocco. He later learned that they were martyred. Hearing the call to give away more of himself to follow Christ, he decided to join the Franciscan order, received approval from his superiors, and joined the Fransicans.
Once, he was he was chosen to give a homily when no one else was available. He was told to just let the Holy Spirit speak for him. He was nervous but the words sprang off his tongue, capturing the hearts and attention of everyone there.
Saint Francis of Assisi himself wrote Saint Anthony and asked him to be in charge of teaching theology to the brothers, who would then go out and preach the gospel to the world. However, he is now better known as an orator, rather than teacher. He spoke loud and clear and in a manner understandable by all people: the poor and the rich, the young and the old, the dull and the wise.
He spoke against heresy and moral duplicity. One time he preached for several days to a group of religious leaders and was welcomed on the last day by an empty room. Undeterred he went down to the seashore, where the river met the sea, and preached his faith to the fish - thousands of fish appeared to listen.
He had great compassion for the poor and oppressed, and many miracles are attributed to him. A few days before Saint Anthony’s death he saw and felt himself holding the baby Jesus. Someone looking through the window at the time indeed saw him with a baby.
Saint Anthony is best known as the Patron Saint of Lost Articles.
Saint Anthony’s life and ministry teach us how to be “Finders”:
- to carry our Faith the way we would hold a baby - firmly but with gentle fingers
- to listen for the call to follow Jesus and always be open for another yet deeper call
- to ask the Holy Spirit to illuminate us through prayer; in studying the Holy Scripture; and in studying the lives of Holy People
- to look for the simple truth in every situation, and
- to seek to taste the simple truth from our own tongue.
Saint Anthony was canonized less than one year after his death. He was made a Doctor of the Church in 1946 by Pope Pius XII.
(* note) The five Franciscan brothers martyred in Morocco were canonized by Sixtus IV in 1481: Saints Berardo, Pietro, Accursio, Adiuto and Ottone.
6.07.2009
Returning Home, Can you Imagine?
What's the first thing you are going to do when we get there?
I'm going to run up the stairs and hug the first person I see, most likely Daddy or Mom or both together, whoever is there at the time I arrive. Then I will probably look in the refrigerator.
"why does Eve always take the lead?"
There is an old joke about there is this musician who dies and goes to heaven, and the first person he sees is Louis Armstrong...who says "Man it is great up here, we got this band going...Elvis, Nat Cole, John Lennon, Patsy Cline, Stevie Ray Vaughn, Buddy Holly, you name 'em they are here and when we get together the sound is pure gold....only problem is .. Jesus has this girlfriend who thinks she can sing....
Are we there yet?
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