Lent 2009: Day 35

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Sadhe (part 1)
You are righteous, LORD,
and just are your edicts.
You have issued your decrees in justice
and in surpassing faithfulness.
I am consumed with rage,
because my foes forget your words.
Your servant loves your promise;
it has been proved by fire.
***

Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave's name was Malchus.
Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword into its scabbard. Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"
*****

Doesn’t it seem like Peter could have written the Sadhe stanza?
He was consumed with love! Earlier, enough to walk on water with Jesus for a moment. Then later, enough to strike the high priest’s slave in defense of Jesus.

I wonder if Peter felt that he would be drinking his own cup from the Father, when Jesus told Peter that he would deny Him three times?

Afterwards,
*Did he simply accept this as part of his destiny to be fulfilled?
or knowing how excitable Peter could be...
*did he burn in shame and guilt from denying his Lord?
*or perhaps a little bit of both...?

my heart goes out to the disintegrating/suffering Peter in his passion.

Lent 2009: Day 34

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
Pe (Part 2)

Steady my feet in accord with your promise;
do not let iniquity lead me.
Free me from human oppression,
that I may keep your precepts.
Let your face shine upon your servant;
teach me your laws.
My eyes shed streams of tears
because your teaching is not followed.
***
Holy Father, keep them in your name that you have given me, so that they may be one just as we are….

[Father, they are your gift to me. I wish that where I am they also may be with me, that they may see my glory that you gave me, because you loved me before the foundation of the world.
Righteous Father, the world also does not know you, but I know you, and they know that you sent me.

I made known to them your name and I will make it known, that the love with which you loved me may be in them and I in them."
Excerpt John 17
***
When My husband was in ICU it was difficult and made me sad when the nurse would tell me it was time for me to leave unit.
It is difficult to be away from people you love, particularly when they might be feeling bad, and when you have no control over when you can see them.
Love is so good though.
To, me just knowing someone loves me(aka cares about me)steadies me somehow, no matter where they are,
I hope that is so for you too
It is great when you get to see their face though :o)

Lent 2009: Day 33

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Pe (part 1)
Wonderful are your decrees;
therefore I observe them.
The revelation of your words sheds light,
gives understanding to the simple.
I sigh with open mouth,
yearning for your commands.
Turn to me and be gracious,
your edict for lovers of your name.
*****

"I revealed your name to those whom you gave me out of the world.
They belonged to you, and you gave them to me, and they have kept your word.

Now they know that everything you gave me is from you,
because the words you gave to me I have given to them, and they accepted them and truly understood that I came from you, and they have believed that you sent me.

I pray for them. I do not pray for the world but for the ones you have given me, because they are yours,
and everything of mine is yours and everything of yours is mine, and I have been glorified in them."

(excerpt John 17)
***
Dear Heavenly Word as in Jesus:
Let me be your Divine Lover
out of the box
Let me be simple, plain, empty
open the bottom as well as the top
so Everything I Am be You

Lent Day 32

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Ayin (part 2)
I am your servant; give me discernment
that I may know your decrees.
It is time for the LORD to act;
they have disobeyed your teaching.
Truly I love your commands
more than the finest gold.
Thus I follow all your precepts;
every wrong way I hate
*****

Jesus answered them, "Do you believe now?

"Behold, the hour is coming and has arrived when each of you will be scattered to his own home
and you will leave me alone.
But I am not alone,
because the Father is with me.

I have told you this so that you might have peace in me.
In the world you will have trouble,
but take courage,
I have conquered the world."
(excerpt John 16)
***

Alone with the Father
Together for the world

it's what divine nobodies do

Do me a favor, watch this brief video. I realize it’s a commercial. But if you can, put everything aside for just a few moments, and watch and listen with your heart.

If people can can “buy and sell goods and services directly to each other - honestly, fairly, and openly,” can’t people share their spiritual journey with each other - honestly, fairly, and openly?

It says, “Every day millions of Ebay users come together to trade and share their knowledge, passion, and interests with each other.” Can’t people come together every day and trade their stories, share from their experience, and encourage one another along in the mutual desire for freedom and truth?

I believe they can…we can.

I believe you and I and people everywhere can be a community. And like a street or neighborhood or a town, that we can take care of each other, help each other, do right by each other, listen to each other, be there for each other. That despite our differences and wherever we happen to be on the journey, that we can see and affirm the good in each other and learn from each other. It’s what divine nobodies do.

It is these thoughts and feelings that motivated the idea of the Divine Nobodies Network. It won’t be officially launched until May, but I want to invite you to join and begin poking around and creating your space.
I close my eyes and imagine that with every nobody who joins, every story shared, every photograph and video and song uploaded, every discussion or conversation or note or comment or email, every new group, ever interaction and new friendship, every expression of compassion and love and acceptance, and the face-to-face enounters and friendships that are born…that each and every one of these will move all of us a little closer to the truth.

…and that we will see and experience that the strength of our community is not in one but in all - the power of all of us together in the Divine Nobodies Network.

(photo by zoo gal)

Lent 2009: Day 31

A Lenten Journey Through The Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Ayin (part 1)

I have fulfilled your just edict;
do not abandon me to my oppressors.
Guarantee your servant's welfare;
do not let the arrogant oppress me.
My eyes long to see your salvation
and the justice of your promise.
Act with kindness toward your servant;
teach me your laws.
*****

But now I am going to the one who sent me, and not one of you asks me,
'Where are you going?'
But because I told you this, grief has filled your hearts.
But I tell you the truth, it is better for you that I go. For if I do not go, the Advocate will not come to you. But if I go, I will send him to you.

[when he comes, the Spirit of truth, he will guide you to all truth. He will not speak on his own, but he will speak what he hears, and will declare to you the things that are coming.
He will glorify me, because he will take from what is mine and declare it to you.]
(excerptS John 16)
***

In abandonment and oppression
There is opportunity for surprise
Love remains.
It is found in the Spirit of Truth
The heart takes from what is Jesus
and allows us to go deep enough
to touch the essence, the bottom line,
the heart of any matter

Lent 2009: Day 30

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Samekh (part 2)

Strengthen me that I may be safe,
ever to contemplate your laws.
You reject all who stray from your laws,
for vain is their deceit.
Like dross you regard all the wicked on earth;
therefore I love your decrees.
My flesh shudders with dread of you;
I hold your edicts in awe.
*****

"When the Advocate comes whom I will send you from the Father, the Spirit of truth that proceeds from the Father, he will testify to me.
And you also testify, because you have been with me from the beginning."

(Excerpt John 15)

Lent 2009: Day 29

Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119
the Spiritual Alphabet

Samekh

I hate every hypocrite;
your teaching I love.
You are my refuge and shield;
in your word I hope.
Depart from me, you wicked,
that I may observe the commands of my God.
Sustain me by your promise that I may live;
do not disappoint me in my hope.
*****

It was not you who chose me, but I who chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit that will remain, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name he may give you.

This I command you: love one another

(excerpt John 15)

Dear Heavenly Father

Thank you for giving us Jesus who would
choose from among men and women to
appoint those as His Lovers who
bear lasting fruit by
Your Command to Love

Love us,
Care for us,
Understand us,
heal us,
according to Your will,
in His Name
Amen

Lent 2009: Day 28

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Nun (part 2)

My life is always at risk,
but I do not forget your teaching.
The wicked have set snares for me,
but from your precepts I do not stray.
Your decrees are my heritage forever;
they are the joy of my heart.
My heart is set on fulfilling your laws;
they are my reward forever.
*****

Whoever does not love me does not keep my words; yet the word you hear is not mine but that of the Father who sent me.
"I have told you this while I am with you.
The Advocate, the holy Spirit that the Father will send in my name-
-he will teach you everything and remind you of all that (I) told you.

Peace I leave with you;
my peace I give to you.
Not as the world gives do I give it to you.
Do not let your hearts be troubled or afraid.

(excerpt John 14)

Lent 2009: Day 27

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Nun
Your word is a lamp for my feet,
a light for my path.
I make a solemn vow
to keep your just edicts.
I am very much afflicted, LORD;
give me life in accord with your word.
Accept my freely offered praise;
LORD, teach me your decrees.
*****

Do not let your hearts be troubled. You have faith in God; have faith also in me. In my Father's house there are many dwelling places. If there were not, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you?
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back again and take you to myself, so that where I am you also may be.
Where (I) am going you know the way."

Thomas said to him, "Master, we do not know where you are going; how can we know the way?"
Jesus said to him, "I am the way and the truth and the life.

(excerpt John 14)

Lent 2009: Day 26

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
Mem (part 2)

I keep my steps from every evil path,
that I may obey your word.
From your edicts I do not turn,
for you have taught them to me.
How sweet to my tongue is your promise,
sweeter than honey to my mouth!
Through your precepts I gain insight;
therefore I hate all false ways.
*****
I give you a new commandment:
love one another.
As I have loved you,
so you also should love one another.

This is how all will know that you are my disciples,
if you have love for one another."

(excerpt John 13)

Lent 2009: Day 25

A Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119
The Spiritual Alphabet

Mem (part 1)
How I love your teaching, Lord!
I study it all day long.
Your command makes me wiser than my foes,
for it is always with me.
I have more understanding than all my teachers,
because I ponder your decrees.
I have more insight than my elders,
because I observe your precepts.
*****
So when he had washed their feet (and) put his garments back on and reclined at table again, he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?

You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so,
for indeed I am.

If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another's feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you,
you should also do.

Amen, amen, I say to you, no slave is greater than his master nor any messenger greater than the one who sent him.

If you understand this, blessed are you if you do it.
I am not speaking of all of you.
I know those whom I have chosen.

Lent 2009: Day 24 (a little early)

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Lamedh (part 2)

I am yours; save me,
for I cherish your precepts.
The wicked hope to destroy me,
but I pay heed to your decrees.
I have seen the limits of all perfection,
but your command is without bounds.

*****

I am troubled now. Yet what should I say? 'Father, save me from this hour'? But it was for this purpose that I came to this hour...

....I came into the world as light, so that everyone who believes in me might not remain in darkness.
And if anyone hears my words and does not observe them, I do not condemn him, for I did not come to condemn the world but to save the world.

*
Fear no more, O daughter Zion; see, your king comes, seated upon an ass's colt."

(Excerpts John12)

Lent 2009: Day 23

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Lamedh (part 1)
Your word, LORD, stands forever;
it is firm as the heavens.
Through all generations your truth endures;
fixed to stand firm like the earth.
By your edicts they stand firm to this day,
for all things are your servants.
Had your teaching not been my delight,
I would have perished in my affliction.
I will never forget your precepts;
through them you give me life.
*****
Six days before Passover Jesus came to Bethany, where Lazarus was, whom Jesus had raised from the dead.

They gave a dinner for him there, and Martha served, while Lazarus was one of those reclining at table with him.

Mary took a liter of costly perfumed oil made from genuine aromatic nard and anointed the feet of Jesus and dried them with her hair;

the house was filled with the fragrance

(excerpt John 12)

Lent 2009: Day 22 (a little early)

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Kaph (Part 2)
When will your edict doom my foes?
The arrogant have dug pits for me;
defying your teaching.
All your commands are steadfast.
Help me! I am pursued without cause.
They have almost ended my life on earth,
but I do not forsake your precepts.
In your kindness give me life,
to keep the decrees you have spoken.
*****
Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in a day?
If one walks during the day, he does not
stumble,
because he sees the light of this world.

But if one walks at night,
he stumbles,
because the light is not in him."

….."I am the resurrection and the life;
whoever believes in me, even if he dies,
will live,
and everyone who lives and believes in me
will never die.

Do you believe this?"

(excerpts John 11)

Lent 2009: Day 21

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Kaph (Part 1)

My soul longs for your salvation;
I put my hope in your word.
My eyes long to see your promise.
When will you comfort me?
I am like a wineskin shriveled by smoke,
but I have not forgotten your laws.
How long can your servant survive?
*****

And Jesus raised his eyes and said,

"Father, I thank you for hearing me.
I know that you always hear me; but because of the crowd here I have said this, that they may believe that you sent me."

And when he had said this, he cried out in a loud voice,

"Lazarus, come out!"

The dead man came out, tied hand and foot with burial bands, and his face was wrapped in a cloth. So Jesus said to them,

"Untie him and let him go."

(excerpt from John 11)

Lent 2009: Day 20

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Yodh (part 2)
Show me compassion that I may live,
for your teaching is my delight.
Shame the proud for oppressing me unjustly,
that I may study your precepts.
Let those who fear you turn to me,
those who acknowledge your decrees.
May I be wholehearted toward your laws,
that I may not be put to shame.
****
I am compassionate: Forgiveness Understanding and Clarifying Expectations.

I’m writing Day 20 now because my husband is scheduled for surgery tomorrow and will be in the hospital most of the week. There may be a complicating factor which I wont mention now, but I will let you know – some worthwhile things are never easy.

All in all, I was wondering how I was going to write my "Lenten daily” in the hosptial, because I do not have a laptop, and lo and behold, today, my lovely friend Lyn offered to loan me hers. Tomorrow, however, I am going to try to go to Mass first thing so I probably won’t have time to do anything else before we leave for the hospital.

My “I am light” post this morning, quickly turned into “I am wanting to throw up”. I am nervous about this week. This will be the third big surgery my husband has had in less than two years. I am sure he will be fine but there is just so much ….I cant even begin to describe.

I feel bad about being upset and even cranky with mmy friends these last few days. I am trying to ride out an emotionl time and have used this blog to express some, not all, of my feelings, and I am afraid it sometimes doesn’t make sense to many and probably may seem hurtful to others. I don’t know.

Talking about things is always best. In absence of that, holding situations and people in your heart is all you can do, yet sometimes my heart is a turbulent place so whoever I put in there with me may be along for a bumpy ride.

Why are we hardest on the ones we love most? I have said before that perhaps it is because we know they will always love us back. They will forgive our stupidness, etc. because they love us

Forgiveness is something I have been studying for a while now.

I can usually rationalize every bad thing I have ever done to a person, I can rationalize every bad thing someone has done to me.

When I really really can’t understand why someone has done something bad to me, especially if it is in the past and something I thought I had gotten over and I keep going back to when I am upset….that is when I should recognize that it is me I really really need to forgive most.

When I can recognize and forgive my lack of understanding,
I can then forgive people who hurt me.

Recognizing your own lack of understanding can be egoblasting and heart wreching. It is not necessarily easy, but once done...it is healing for all involved (I hope)!

Clarify expectations:
This is number one rule of servanthood.
A servant needs to know what her responsibilities are.
There are lots of other servants in the palace. What are my duties?
What do the people I serve need from me?

Usually the best thing to do for the “Master” is anything that helps Him get His job done. What is His big picture? what are His goals? what is His desire?

It seems in my experience as a Servant working for the Master, preventing bottleneck is a major responsibility. Helping keep open and moving the flow of "information" between the Master and all of his people so everyone can do their part, so no part is hindered, is one thing a trusted servant does.

Rise out of obscurity into clarity.

Lent 2009: Day 19

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Yodh (part 1)
Your hands made me and fashioned me;
give me insight to learn your commands.
Those who fear you rejoice to see me,
because I hope in your word.
I know, LORD, that your edicts are just;
though you afflict me, you are faithful.
May your love comfort me
in accord with your promise to your servant.
*****
This is so great! Yodh begins I Am.
The one-word name of the absolute perfection
who made us and fashioned us.

Yodh-He-Vau-He (YHWH)– it can only
be pronounced correctly deep in the soul.
We sing it as Yahweh.

This is Us! Ours, mine and yours and everyone’s.
Spiritual teachers today are teaching us to manifest the “perfection” we were born with, by naming our essence.
What is your essence?
What are your seven I am statements?

My essence is light,
I am light for the world
I am filled with The Holy Spirit
I am courage (heart)
I am victory (glory)
I am a receptacle for the Great Beautifier
I am an enneagram 3 – The Achiever (latent obviously) – with a romantic 4 wing ;o)
(no...forget that one)
I am patience
I am for-giving

Instructions heard last night in a dream for growth:

Child! Stop walking backwards, you don’t need to get wet so often
Come My way
Rise out of obscurity

Lent 2009: Day 18

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Teth (part 2)
The arrogant smear me with lies,
but I observe your precepts with all my heart.
Their hearts are gross and fat;
as for me, your teaching is my delight.
It was good for me to be afflicted,
in order to learn your laws.
Teaching from your lips is more precious to me
than heaps of silver and gold.
*****
I don't have anyone smearing me with lies, not that I am aware of at least :o)
However...this stanza somehow brings to mind the book Thorn Birds, when the young and ambitious priest takes the young girl’s inheritance for himself and his ambition. He absolves himself of this sin by saying “it is for her own good – she (her family) would not know how to handle it – God would agree, God will understand”

Also reminds me of the joke…Three God-fearing men are left stranded on a remote deserted island. Two are panicking and making attempts at being rescued. The third sits back and says “Relax, have peace, don’t worry, we will be rescued soon”
The other two say “how can you have such faith?”
The third says
“I have no doubt, nor fear.
I donate $50,000 a week to my church,
my pastor will find me!!!”

O heavenly Love
I have been affirmed of my uselessness to others,
affirmed of my worldly inadequacy and incompetence...
and your Word has rescued me.

You laws are my adequacy and competence...
and I am enlightened in Your Presence.

I have nothing to donate except this Light you gave me to share.
Having Your Light is my most precious treasure...
and It goes with me everywhere I go

Teach me how to let it shine more,
and hide it less

Lent 2009: Day 17

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119
*****
Teth (part 1)
You have treated your servant well,
according to your word, O LORD.
Teach me wisdom and knowledge,
for in your commands I trust.
Before I was afflicted I went astray,
but now I hold to your promise.
You are good and do what is good;
teach me your laws.
*****
There is no relationship when only one is responsive
How do you have a relationship with a wall?
I am not sure how to dance with a wall
Forget having an actual conversation with it
Kiss a wall and only taste its flatness

Love remains forever but relationships are fruitless
without mutual responding

You, O Lord,
I want to repond in unison with Your Perfect Will.
Teach me to leap over walls!
this would not even be possible before I was hurt,
but now I have Your promise,
please now give me a heart like David’s.

Lent 2009: Day 16

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Heth (part 2)
At midnight I rise to praise you
because your edicts are just.
I am the friend of all who fear you,
of all who keep your precepts.
The earth, LORD, is filled with your love;
teach me your laws.
*****
I woke up in the middle of the night last night
and remembered this stanza of my Psalm 119.
It reminded me to count my blessings, and I did.

That reminded me how important it is to Love each other.
To ENCOURAGE each other.

All of our leaders need to learn this.

One encouraging word to a lowly person who is down,
from the mouth of a respected person in a leadership/ shepherding position,
can spark a flicker that becomes a flame.

Personal encouragement, a spoken word, particularly from a leader, can be healing and transforming.
The body of Christ,
i.e.,
the leader working with the Christ in him.

In that regard, to encourage, to allow Christ to work through you, requires vulnerability and that is not easy for some.

Dear President Obama:
Please encourage us to keep the hope alive!
We know times are very bad, we know it is not your fault.
Yet remember where and who we are!

We are resourceful, we are creative,
We are courageous and responsible,
We pull-up our boot straps and get the job done!
We do what it takes – we work together!
We are giving loving caring people - rich and poor alike.
We help each other, we share what we have and
We don’t need anyone or any institution to tell us to do it…
We do it because we are good people.

Not only can we get through this, we will!

The earth, LORD, is filled with your love;
teach us your laws. (Hint: Love God, Love Neighbor)

Lent 2009: Day 15

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Heth (part 1)
My portion is the LORD;
I promise to keep your words.
I entreat you with all my heart:
have mercy on me in accord with your promise.
I have examined my ways
and turned my steps to your decrees.
I am prompt, I do not hesitate
in keeping your commands.
Though the snares of the wicked surround me,
your teaching I do not forget.
*****
I am silhouetted from the desert floor.
One side facing light, One side facing shadow.
Which side of me do you see?

You take away the sin of the world.
Have mercy on us, have mercy on me.

You are all I need.
Fill me, give me dimension.

I go on to sin no more.
Thank You for teaching them why
they could not stone me.

Lent 2009: Day 14

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Zayin (part 2)
Rage seizes me because of the wicked;
they forsake your teaching.
Your laws become my songs
wherever I make my home.
Even at night I remember your name
in observance of your teaching, LORD.
This is my good fortune,
for I have observed your precepts.
*****
Your Spirit fills us with light.
When we work with your Love, we receive this treasure.

Problem is...
Sometimes there are so many clouds around me,
I can’t really see mine.
Some people actually love me enough to indicate they have seen it in me.
Patiently shining bright on its own,
just waiting for me to see it too.

Whenever I am ready.
It won’t matter where I am.

Lent 2009: Day 13

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Zayin, (part 1)
Remember your word to your servant
by which you give me hope.
This is my comfort in affliction,
your promise that gives me life.
Though the arrogant utterly scorn me,
I do not turn from your teaching.
When I recite your edicts of old
I am comforted, LORD.
*****

Hello God! it is Monday, and as usual,
I would rather be playing.

Remember?
You promised…
Love to appease my soul when I have to accede to other’s demands.
Love for when people’s expectations of life and happy and work,
aren’t exactly the same as mine.

…life’s tough in the west

I won’t run away, as much as I may want to.
I recite your Word by heart.

Lent 2009: Day 12

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Vau (part 2)
I will walk freely in an open space
because I cherish your precepts.
I will speak openly of your decrees
without fear even before kings.
I delight in your commands,
which I dearly love.
I lift up my hands to your commands;
I study your laws, which I love.
*****
Inside your Law
I can walk in liberty anywhere, anytime.
Like Jesus walking on the turbulent seas
Your Love is my buoyancy.

I am lifted up inside my praise for You;
in delight and gratitude for the love
and the lovers
You have given me for my crossing,
like the fair winds and the storms,
even the doldrums.

Your lessons remain in my heart and soul,
they are my ballast,
they steady me for the next turn.

Mmy aprrenticeship continues.
In Love, with You and all Your Creation,
inlcuding me
:o)

Lent 2009: Day 11

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Vau (part 1)
Let your love come to me, LORD,
salvation in accord with your promise.
Let me answer my taunters with a word,
for I trust in your word.
Do not take the word of truth from my mouth,
for in your edicts is my hope.
I will keep your teachings always,
for all time and forever.
*****
Your Word is delicious!
Just a taste satisfies like nothing else can.
It reproduces itself, so the amount is unlimited,
and can be enjoyed
and shared with everyone who needs it.

It is the one-word answer You give me to give my taunters
Real and imagined...my internal reminders of regrets, fears, shames, and abuses.

What is the one-word answer?
Love.

“I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any man eat of this bread, he shall live forever: and the bread that I will give is my flesh, which I will give for the life of the world.” ( John 6.51)

Lent 2009: Day 10

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

He (part 2)
Avert my eyes from what is worthless;
by Your way give me life.
For your servant fulfill your promise
made to those who fear you.
Turn away from me the taunts I dread,
for your edicts bring good.
See how I long for your precepts;
in your justice give me life.
*****

Only through forgiveness and understanding do I find Your Way.
Help me know when it is time to kick the dust off my feet from useless pursuits.

The gifts You have given us have the potential to bring good to all of Your children.
I too am good enough to bear your gifts,
everywhere and at all times, not only under certain conditions.

All good works from the heart I do, I know it is not me, but You, doing the good work through me.

When criticized and negatively judged for giving with my heart,
Teach me to know it is ultimately You they are judging, not me.

I know you forgive and understand without hesitation, give me Your Way (please).

Lent 2009: Day 9

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

He (part 1)
LORD, teach me the way of your laws;
I shall observe them with care.
Give me insight to observe your teaching,
to keep it with all my heart.
Lead me in the path of your commands,
for that is my delight.
Direct my heart toward your decrees
and away from unjust gain.

Dear Heavenly Love,
Let my Infirmity become Insight.
Teach me to heal,
then, In Your Spirit and Your truth, my wholeness will be able to transform.

Gently stir my soul, and slip some calmness back into my heart,
Steady my feet and lead the Way

Lent 2009: Day 8

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Daleth, (part 2)
Lead me from the way of deceit;
favor me with your teaching.
The way of loyalty I have chosen;
I have set your edicts before me.
I cling to your decrees, LORD;
do not let me come to shame.
I will run the way of your commands,
for you open my docile heart.
*****

God gives some of us our own parched desert experience,
We dont need Lent to force our disciplines.
My sweet Him (husband) is having some very tough times.
It kills me inside. He has been through so much.
Someone once said he must have a tremendous soul,
and he does. God Loves him very much.

Heavenly Father, as yet I don’t always like Your Ways
but I am with You.
I love your Word, I love your Word in the form of Jesus who
showed us all of your Ways,
including facing our evils, death,resurrection, and life in the Spirit.
I am in training to receive all your commands,
as you continue to wrench open my heart,
Give me your living water, and please don’t let me fail too often.

Lent 2009: Day 7

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Daleth (part 1)
I lie prostrate in the dust;
give me life in accord with your word.
I disclosed my ways and you answered me;
teach me your laws.
Make me understand the way of your precepts;
I will ponder your wondrous deeds.
I weep in bitter pain;
in accord with your word to strengthen me.
*****
Powerless, alone, not knowing what to do. Husband in pain, needing a major surgery. I hate it when he is pain. I hate it when I don’t know what to do to somehow get my way and I don’t even know what it is I’m asking for.

Please God, why don’t You spell it out for me?

I yearn for complete incorporation of Your Law of Love, your Living Water. What does that feel like?

You strengthen our spirit through suffering. Life is indestructible, the body is not.

Heavenly Father, knowing this does not make it easy, or make me always nice.

Lent 2009: Day 6

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Gimel, (part 2)
With a curse you rebuke the proud
who stray from your commands.
Free me from disgrace and contempt,
for I observe your decrees.
Though princes meet and talk against me,
your servant studies your laws.
Your decrees are my delight;
they are my counselors.
*****
There is a reason Jesus came to us as a servant.
Jesus knew the "Princes" could only accept him,
and let him inside their eliteness, their inner circles,
if He were their servant, if He served them,
if He waited on them.
A servant can lovingly touch and care for the Prince in ways and in places his “equals” his “peers” may never be able to.

Dear heavenly Love, I keep my eyes and my heart on your laws of Love;
particularly forgiveness and understanding.
Your Laws of Love are my Spiritual Direction.
I am a student of servanthood.

Lent 2009: Day 5

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Gimel, (part 1)
Be kind to your servant that I may live, that I may keep your word.
Open my eyes to see clearly the wonders of your teachings.
I am a sojourner in the land; do not hide your commands from me.
At all times my soul is stirred with longing for your edicts.
******
Let us live in Love Lord.
Help me see clearly my own reality and
how Your Love breathes life into me.
I have no “place,” no theory, no way-of-life to call my own,
except Your Way - Your Love.
I am breathless for Your Word throughout existence.
--
My husband, who has Parkinson’s disease, and degenerative spine disease, has been in a bad way. He has been doing great since his cervical spine surgery last May, but now all of a sudden he is back in treatment for some lower spine deterioration, and, most painful and debilitating, a bone spur poking into his spinal column. He will have a Myelogram early next week, in which a dye is injected in his spinal fluid and then x-rays are taken to determine places of stenosis (narrowing) or blockage. Then, next steps will be determined.

It seems Parkinson’s patients (“victims” as Him jokingly says) also many times suffer with spine deterioration, arthritis, bone spurs, etc. Pope John Paul II is a good example.

This lent, my fasting will include giving up self-medicating and hiding from my own reality;
my prayer continuous;
my almsgiving and giving of self led by my current commitments and ofcourse, the Spirit.

I pray for the intercession of Soon-to-be-Saint Pope John Paul II to Jesus to heal my husband’s disease and discomfort.

Peace
Keren