On a lighter note, Maybe, Perhaps...

I love this... dancing, love, ... drama and spirits even...a foreign yet somehow familiar sound, a different tongue and script I dont know anything about but I somehow understand...at least some of it.

In all sincerity, I love this, and I have no idea why this was made, why it is here, what the words say...hopefully nothing offensive to anyone....it somehow feels nice though.

and by the way, I dont mind being corrected at all! Either here on this blog or My email is listed on my profile.


Peace
Keren

Responding

When you aren't feeling the love in a major way...when you have situation after situation presented to you that frustrates you; people dont seem to understand; misjudge you; or you really just dont like what is going on..and dont know how to love it...what is your most natural reaction?

Using the scale of 1-10: (1) being the image of meditation above and (10) the youtube piece below...




Which image most represents your initial reaction to extreme frustration????? Please use any number in between to express yourself. Or please just "free style" your response, if any.

Peace and Love
Keren

Love Notes (Loretta too)

Last week was a rough week. All in all it seems God is not pulling any punches. I am learning I am not above kicking and screaming, and crying into a pillow. Life really can be hard. Hearts get broken. Incomes/livelihoods reduced or lost. People get sick and are in pain or die. I can’t be happy about these things. Why is it so hard to let go and let God? At least it is hard for me.

I had two friends lose their jobs (to one it was a blessing and no biggie, to the other very scary); I have several friends and my Him dealing with serious health issues. One a lot more serious than the rest. I have some own stuff I am wanting to work through. I do try to live in the moment, but when being beat it seems you don’t want to live in the moment, you want to look for ways to stop future pounding, at least in your imagination.

Friday was particularly brutal. So, when I got home, I picked up my love-notebook where I write and keep quotes and words I like about Love, etc., so I can reread when I need inspiration. I also keep thank you’s or nice things people have said about me which I re-read when I’m not feeling the love for whatever reason.

Anyway, I came across the following…I read this sort of thing and I just melt into Love for all of our experiences. I wish I could keep that feeling all the time, but I need frequent reminding.


God speaks to us

God speaks to each of us as he forms us in the womb; then he leads us out, beyond our remembering. The words are obscured by the transition.

“You are being sent forth by your senses. Go ahead and dare to go to the far edges of your longings and your desires. There you will form me.

You are light! Blaze and flare-up like a flame. Make great flickering shadows where I can dance.

Let every feeling happen to you: Beauty and Terror and everything in between. No feeling is the furthest out, there is always more to feel.

Don’t let yourself believe that we are separate from one another. Where we will be is the place called Life. You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your trust, I am holding you”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke ~ (a combination of translations tweaked by Keren for help with my own personal understanding)

Peace
Keren


Photo – “love notes” (or "why my cats will be never be models" – I can scratch that off income producing ideas):o)

my own private utopia

Sorry I’ve been away for awhile, I’ve been walking down the road of self-obsession. Its funny, when I first started walking down the path it was really exciting. Almost like the rush of a good drug leaving me wanting more. Like an addict, I couldn’t realize the effect of my condition on those around me. I was self-absorbed in my own world. In my own world there is more than enough to keep me stimulated and feeling alive… so I thought. Something happened last night, call it divine intervention, because I am still walking in a daze. I was jerked out of my own private utopia to find my real life here on earth I have a beautiful wife who is so thirsty for the deep drink of love yet is parched like a lost desert wonderer, and three loving daughters who are starving for the days when they can share daddy’s lap and just play till the evening bell tolls. It was as if someone who loves me came walking gently into my dark den of self-pity carrying a warm candle and found me with the needles of my addiction hanging from my arm. My eyes were changed; I look at the den that once gave me the reason do it again now feels like a dungeon that imprisons me from a true life.

The change is happening…the source of my wanting to live comes from not wanting to live for myself but to live my life for my family. May it be so, and may the One who leads the prisoners out keep my eyes and heart open to the Love that is right here! May I be fully present today and tomorrow!

Love's the Greatest Healer to Be Found

Oh yes!

Peace
Keren

The Hugging Saint

A "hugging saint" came to the city where I live a couple of years ago. She stood in an auditorium somewhere and people stood in line to be hugged and blessed by her. I so soo wanted to go get hugged by her, but had to work or something. Next time she comes – no excuses - I am there!

I thought about her yesterday as I was watching the communion line in my church, and then watching the people line up to shake the hand of our wonderful pastor after Mass, whose blessings have been important/impactful to me and indirectly to my family. So I googled her when I got home.

She hugs to spread the idea of motherly love and compassion "felt not only towards one's own children, but all people, animals and plants, rocks and rivers — a love extended to all of nature, all beings." Her name is Amma — nickname for Mata Amritanandamayi ("Mother of immortal bliss").

This is what I want to be! I have found a vocation to respond to in my own way. Seriously! This is one thing I enjoy about being older, I can hug most people without them thinking I have something else in mind or strings attached – when I was 24 that would have been different! Actually there is probably more to her “job” than meets the eye like everything else. Especially since some people can turn a kindness into an invitation or obligation.

It must take a tremendous amount of strength/fortitude, in addition to a tremendous reliance on the God you represent, to be in this sort of position. I have tremendous admiration and gratitude for all people who respond to this type of calling.

Here is more about Amma.

To be in Her presence is to experience the best that life has to offer...
a river of unconditional love, accepting anyone and everyone, and cleansing all their impurities.
Luminous rays of grace, radiating wisdom and joy... like the earth bearing us on her bosom.
By her love, consoling us, nourishing us, instilling faith in us...
in whose presence, the innocence of a child awakens within... the world becomes a wonder.
Such this and more is Mata Amritanandamayi Devi, Amma, Mother of Immortal Bliss.

Come... Meditate... Welcome to the Homepage of Amma
http://www.amritapuri.org/

Loving Friends

I keep thinking I should post something here, and I keep not thinking of anything to post.

But something came up recently.

It used to be, when I was part of the church organization, that my friends were the people who were like me, who believed what I believed, who were as dedicated to the church structure as I was, who even dressed like me. We were friends based on a similar religious practice, similar child-rearing styles, similarly traditional marriages. I valued a friend by how much like me she was. Not always because she was kind or loving or generous (sometimes, sometimes not), but because we held to the same theology.

My friendships were measured by sameness. By common ground: bible study and parenting group; women's retreats. Likewise, I was measured by my friends the same way; I wasn't always thoughtful or pleasant to be around, but because I had right beliefs, I had value.

Things have changed for me a great deal over these un-churched years.

The friends I have made since leaving church are not much like me. They are varied and colorful and alive....and the measure of these friendships is Love.

I had a birthday recently...and one of my relatively new friends called to say she was stopping by unexpectedly to bring a gift. It was a thoughtful gift, and I loved it. But more importantly was the spirit behind this gesture...she went out of her way to think about, plan for and recognize my day. Simply because she Loves me enough to want to. She and I are alike in ways, but we are different in many more ways...and I value her because she Loves me, not necessarily because she's like me.

Friendship should be measured by Love; in gestures, words and a listening ear.

I'm so thankful for the lesson I learned in this...for I still find myself wanting to be measured by sameness and similarity...because it's easier than making the effort to Love someone.

I pray I will continue to learn to be a friend based on Love.

Thoreau on Newness

I stumbled across this today in reading Thoreau.

"Who knows but we shall be better the next year than we have been in the past? At any rate. I wish you a really new year--commencing from the instant you read this,--and happy or unhappy according to your deserts."

~~Henry David Thoreau, Letters to a Spiritual Seeker, Letter 20.

Thoreau has a unique way about him. He's straightforward and hopeful. It's like he sensed that he has such little time on the earth so he wasn't going to fool around. This one little snippet expresses so much. A new year. real newness, not just superficial window dressing. No Potemkin villages in our lives. Newness beginning now. Better is not the goal, but newness is. Behold, God says. I make all things new. Love always makes everything new. New every morning.

Aster Struck

Stars and flowers have been on my mind. Probably due to the recent stories of the three magi who recognized and followed the star of the baby who would become king of the Jews (according to the gospel of Matthew)…and also due to my own discovery of Aster daisies with regard to future plans for replanting my (neglected of late) garden.

In the USA, we don’t officially recognize any royalty in this country. “Kings” are politicians or corporate/industry giants or Hollywood stars – recognized as “kings” only after doing something noteworthy. With regard to Jesus – the star-readers weren’t looking for his CV or accomplishments. Yet, he was born of a certain impressive lineage. However, he was poor and unnoticed/disregarded by most of the people most of the time. I don’t know much about any religions, but I have heard that when the (Tibetan Buddhist?) Dali Lama dies, his disciples search for a baby or child who appears to be the reincarnated self of the recently deceased Dali Lama, but I believe that baby once found is treated pretty well.

My simple ponderings led me to wonder…why is the expectation of deity paced on a baby anyway? Could it be because a baby has the capacity to grow?...yet a baby calls for nurturing and care. A deity baby needing nurturing? Wouldn’t a God be able to take care of himself without participation from humans?

That takes me to God who is Love. Take romantic love for example. It usually first somehow magically appears, it is “born” and joyfully recognized. Then, when there is hope for it to continue into the future, it is cared for and brought along, prompted, encouraged; faithfully handled with patience, gentleness, self-control, which results in a peaceful then fruitful union.

Could it be the same with God-in-us, i.e., the Spirit of our Creator here and now…the way He/She/It is recognized then developed within ourselves and shared with others?

Just some New Year and Monday night ponderings.

Peace and Love
Keren

PS Just so I don’t leave out the daisies…in my part of the world –certain aster daisies are actually perennial shrubs but only bloom under certain conditions.

Love Invocation

It is Love I need today, Love’s infinite wisdom, not my limited intelligence. This day I need all the Love with which my Beloved Creator can fill me with. Please fill me with Wisdom and Love in full measure. Grant me the assurance today that your Love is with me. That your Wisdom guides me and that your Presence upholds me. Your Grace is my sufficiency. Amen

Author Name Unavailable at this time.

(I wrote this down a year or so ago and cant find the name of who to attribute it to, but I will) Have a great day!

The Tango Lesson

Three weeks ago I'd never heard of the word "milonga." It is "a term for a place or an event where tango is danced." And that's where I went on the second Friday of last December, to satisfy my curiosity about a dance that's been the subject of quite a few films. Instead of remaining a passive movie viewer, I decided to go and see what all the fuss was about in real life.

Amazing! All ages, races, and skill levels were represented. There was an ease, a familiarity, a lack of self-consciousness among the dancers that created a welcoming environment. People danced with many different partners. People took turns leading and following. Men danced with men, women with women, practicing their steps. The dances were constantly flowing and fresh, each one resulting from the improvisation of each duo. Only one constant was upheld: in each and every pair of dancers, there was a leader and a follower.

At the introductory lesson I learned that an important part of being a good follower was applying firm pressure to my points of physical contact with the leader. This pushing-back form of resistance created a dynamic tension that allowed both the leader and me to sense where the dance was going, and how best to follow the leader's movement. I also noticed something else: when I was with a beginning dancer my steps were halting and unsure. When I was in the hands of a talented and experienced leader, I felt like Ginger Rogers....

On a local tango community website expounding on the joys and benefits of tango, there's a link to a page titled "Why?" And the one-sentence answer on that page is "Because you will learn a lot about yourself." Indeed.... that evening was a real eye-opener for me, and as I continue to attend milongas I'm still responding to this new form of self-discovery with my own set of why's.

Why is it so damn hard sometimes to feel God's Love, God's Lead? For crying out loud, I've actually *been there,* in the miraculous flow of Being Love, and *still* I continue to question and fall short and doubt this reality. Why do I make it so hard to trust in the fabulous form and skill of the ultimate Dance Partner?

I'm starting to think that it has to do with my being the right kind of follower. So often I'm going through my life as if I'm running the show, either dancing solo or making sure that others follow my lead, until all my fine efforts get tripped up by the latest soul-shaking crisis, be it big or small. Then I either try to re-assert my leadership, or (more often) turn into a passive mass of sludge in the phony attempt to turn my will over to God. Sh'yeah, right.... "I'm a hopeless failure, God, so now you can take over for me, ok? I can't do anything, and you can do everything, so you do it. Oh, and thanks a lot for taking it all off my hands, I really appreciate it, God."

I'm thinking maybe God prefers dance partners who follow with the right kind of resistance.... just enough pushing back to engage, to ask questions: "Is this how it goes, God? I'm trying to sense where this dance is taking me, and honoring your lead with some fancy footwork of my own so you don't have to drag me around on the floor."

Most of all, I think God wants us to have fun in this dance, to let go of our perfectionism and just feel the rhythm of our lives in keeping with the music, with the messages whispered by Love.

As for me, I started 2008 with a all-night milonga, and am following through with a month of tango lessons two nights a week in January! It's because I'm smiling with wonder whenever I'm not laughing outright with the joy of my experience on the dance floor. The evenings I spend tangoing fly by, which for me is a clear indication that I'm onto something.... and I'm looking forward to wherever this new learning curve takes me.

World Day of Peace

January 1 is recognized as the World Day of Peace. I am wishing peace to all who come here, and the whole community of humans God has placed on this earth.

"...the peoples of the earth, too, are called to build relationships of solidarity and cooperation among themselves, as befits members of the one human family: “All peoples are one community and have one origin, because God caused the whole human race to dwell on the face of the earth; they also have one final end, God”. ~ Pope Benedict XVI

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace, Where there is hatred, let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light; where there is sadness, joy;

O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned; and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
~ St. Francis of Assisi