I've been thinking a lot about forgiveness. Deep down, I truly believe that God has forgiven all. I can accept this after years of believing that God has forgiven almost nothing and no one. The forgiveness of God is more for our sakes than God's -- as I see it. I don;t thank that we can't really offend God. Maybe that's offensive in light of all of the human atrocities we inflict upon one another.
Yet, I find it easier to accept God's forgiveness than to forgive. Just like I find it easier to accept that God love me and all than for me to love God by loving others.
Maybe I'm just rambling at this point, but forgiveness is hard business -- especially when that business is self forgiveness. How can we forgive others if we can't forgive ourselves? And I know all of the advice. Holding a grudge (even against yourself) only hurts you. Free yourself and forgive. That's fine and dandy, but the question for me is how?
I love the theory of forgiveness, but the practice is quite another matter.
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3 comments:
Yes, it is hard. I feel the same way about it being hardest to forgive myself. It just seems that after 50 years I should have figured it all out better!
I have a beloved family member who was born a dyslexic genius. It was no oneś fault - she was deeply loved - but completely misunderstood. All of her life she knew the answers, but could not communicate them. Forgiveness is her great struggle too.
¨Help me see them through Your eyes, God,¨ seems to be the prayer that helps me the most.
¨Help me to see me as you see me, God". . . that is much harder! I have to hear the answer through the screams of The Critic.
"How?" is a very good question for me to ask too.
I can usually fairly easily forgive others and accept their insensitivities when directed at me. What is happening that allows me to do that? Holy Spirit/Love moving through me obviously.
However, I have trouble forgiving myself for any number of things that I do that result in bad/painful stuff for me or my loved ones. What is blocking the Spirit?
It just occured to me as I was typing this that perhaps..maybe.. it is God that I need to forgive first. Yipes! I need to meditate on this one....
Thanks Kevin, Peace.
Kevin, sometimes I have to step outside myself and look at me as another person. It's easiest to do if I'm looking at a past me. I know it's always harder to forgive ourselves for things. But perhaps we become too self-focused that way, and that would be another reason to keep striving to see ourselves with the same love we see others.
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