Love them Shepherds! (more)

Friday
I started a new/old job this week and am grateful to be back.
I have been pretty busy, reestablishing routines, many new faces, many familiar ones too. It is a busy time here. Lots to be done.
My friend (he thinks he is my boss) who brought me back is pleased as I am since I have the experience, I can come in and pretty much pick right back up where
I started when I left 4 years ago. Experience is a wonderful thing, that cant be taken from you, but you have to have it first.

All that said..I havent been able to post my shepherding reflections, but it occured to me pray for vocations instead.

Heavenly Father:
Please continue to send us good shepherds, shepherds who will tend to us for his/her lifetime. A Shepherd with experience awakening and tending to souls, and touching hearts in the name of Jesus, is a gift not only to his flock but ultimately to the world. I cant imagine a greater calling.
Amen




Tuesday
Last night, in a class for people wanting to learn about joining the church, after the obligatory discussion on levels of ordination...the discussion turned to next Sunday's readings..for Good Shepherd Sunday.

I have a few thoughts to post the rest of this week here, just to collect them, so I will come back to it several times this week.

*******

"When souls meet each other, what truth they can exchange! It is uttered in silence, yet always surely reaches its goal."
Bowl of Saki, by Hazrat Inayat Khan

There are many ways to be present to eachother. Today in a large city parish, a good shepherd in the human pastoring sense, cant possibly individually work with each person that comes into his fold, cant break the legs of each of his wayward sheep and carry them on his shoulders, but his tending to our hearts, and souls can be imparted by desire to care.

In some pastors this is abundantly felt. I have ben fortunate in the few churches I have attended, the pastors seem to have their flock in their hearts. The church I attend most truly has a pastor like this. It is a gift.

More later gotta go to work.

Unity: Believing in Love

I believe that God/Love meets each of us where He knows we will recognise and know Him in our own way.

For us who know and love, or want to know and love, Jesus as God who is Love...

It seems all Jesus (also known as Love) wants us to do,
is to believe that what He is telling us is true;
that He is who He says He is;
and we am too...

"That they may all be one. As you, Father, are in me and I am in you, may they also be one in us, . . . so that the world may know that you have sent me."

*******
Fine print...
"The desire to recover the unity of all Christians is a gift of Christ and a call of the Holy Spirit."
Finer print...from the Catechism of the Catholic Church
*******

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/
here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies


There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Feeling God: Feeling Love

I believe we are ultimately saved by our Desire for Grace (Grace could be defined as "closeness to God").

*Have you ever cried your guts out and been washed with grief over the loss of a loved one or a friend?
*Have you ever loved someone so truly and so deeply and not been loved back by that person, but still somehow in some way loved him/her anyway?
*Have you ever made a mistake and wanted to start over again?
*Have you ever been filled with compassion or pity for a very poor or sick person?
*Have you ever been stabbed in the heart i.e., hurt to the core by a situation but still loved the situation enough to want to make amends with it even though you may not be able to
*Have you ever longed for something you couldn’t quite name or put to words, but it burned inside you anyway?
*Have you ever laughed so hard you cried?
*Have you ever given part of yourself to something and never expected anything in return?

to me…that’s feeling close to God.

There is more
*Have you ever been head over heals in love and had someone love you back in the same way?
*have you ever felt "taken away" from the world even for a moment when looking into the ocean or beautiful sunrise or view?
*Have you ever felt moved to draw a picture or sing a song or write a story or a letter or a poem?
*Have you ever desired to create something together with someone else?
*Have you ever loved someone so much you wanted to give them the world?

that’s feeling close to God

There is alot alot more…

********************************************************************************

REMINDER:

Soon...www.turnloveinsideout will not be a website anymore...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot though,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Fulfilling Love: Capacity for a Hole

There is a hole inside, or at least the potential for a hole inside, of each of us.

I pour my heart and soul into the hole
and it flows out.
This hole is open ended.

I want, I work, I wait, I wonder..

With my heart and soul I could build a floor, some walls, a roof on the hole.
But then I would need really need some windows.
I open the windows -
my heart and my soul would flow out again.
What about a door to let some back in?

I wonder...?

Peace and Love
Keren
**********************************

REMINDER...

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Easter 2009 - 2nd Sunday of Easer

Reflections on my Lenten Journey Through Psalm 119 with
some help from the Gospel of John

Wisdom of God
The moment I grasp you,
you have already begun your escape.
You are infinitely accessible
but not containable.
I carry you but I do not hold you.
Your law is written on my heart,
to be displayed to all by its actions;
yet, I have to look inward,
on the right side of my heart,
to read it.
...K

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

but here is where the www.turnloveinsideout.com group is going. Including me!

Visit divinenobodies

I am planning on keeping this blogspot too,
http://turnloveinsideout.blogspot.com/

There is a lot more community feel to the Divine Nobodies site.
I hope you join me there too.

Peace
Keren

Easter Octave 2009 - Saturday,

Jesus, it has been a week since
I dreamed you came to me
while I slept...
your breath your voice my name.
Like Eve, captive in a closed place,
you died to forgive me,
you died to save me and
bring me back to your perfect light.

Then I saw you inside me with Your eyes closed,
maybe dead, maybe sleeping, maybe peacefully resting...

You inside me is all I need to know.
...K

Easter Octave - 2009 - Friday's Child is Loving and Giving

Father,
It is Friday again.
It has been a week now
since I saw You watching me
as I walked the path to death.
I recognised You even in your hat.

Even though it was a cruel crowd and dark day,
I saw your smile, the smile in Your heart.

You knew I would rise.
You knew I would forgive them all.
That is what we do.

Did You see the playful little boy following me?
and the reverent little girl leading me?

I am for Love and I am for Giving.
I wonder if I was born on a Friday too?
My mother says yes.

Peace and Love
Keren

Easter Octave 2009 - Thursday - Rainbow Lady

This is a painting by Kasimir Malevich. I call it "rainbow lady"

Her shape/form of pure white light is somehow broken in half and we are allowed to see what her "insides" look like...her colors, her pure colors....
pure Black too is there

Black...in "light" terms... is "voided" color,
White...is "occupied" color.

In art-material terms, ironically, it is just the opposite..
White is "no color";
black is "all colors," in some measure, mixed together.

I "met" Kasimir in my subconscious earlier this year, it was in early February I believe...I know it was before Lent. It is unbelievable to me to have a cross-century relationship with a painter whose realistic figurative work, IMHO, is even similar to mine, not to mention his use of color.

I don't believe I had ever heard of him before. I know I had not seen his realistic paintings - he is most known for his abstracts.

Anyway... more on that later.

Re: Turnloveinsideout.

I want to make sure you know. I am not quitting or abandoning this website. Neither are the owners... The owners of the Site, and The Turnloveinsideout url and trademark; the people who developed the site and its purpose, aka Jim and Anne, are simply moving it to the Divine Nobodies Network (link posted soon).

Jim and Anne, originally asked me to blog here almost 3 years ago...can it be? or was is just two. July 2007 I believe, yes just two. OK

Now, Jim and Anne are involved in a wonderful on-line community "Divine Nobodies", which is inclusive of "divine-nobody lovers" (like me) (and you too of course)

Jim and Anne asked me to move my blogging their TLIO site on the Divine Nobodies Network. They asked me to lead/facilitate it , which I am not sure I know how to do, but I will give it my Spirit!

Please note my emphasis on they "asked" me. This is important. More on this later.

I may also continue to blog here on Blogger - turnloveinsideout blogspot, or word press (someone told me it was more user friendly), or I may blog on my own website or my myspace page. I dont know yet.

God's Spirit is Everywhere!
The spirit I carry in my body is God's Spirit.
His Spirit is inside everybody!
It is realized by those who are open to It and accept It,.
I am occupied with It :o)
I know this.
I am convinced of it, and I have confidence in it.
I am human too tho,
so I have all the bodily and mental struggles that come along with beig Human.
But I know with out a doubt, My Spirit is God's Spirit.

I don't deserve It.
I never expect it when I feel It - maybe I am getting there though.
I can't plan for It - maybe I am getting there though.

I can count on It (God's Spirit) to do with me what He Wills not what I will.

God bless you.
Peace and Love
Keren

Easter 2009 - Wednesday

I will write more tomorrow morning.
I have a bad cough, I am very busy at work,
and I am going back to a previous employer the end of this month - so alot has to be done between now and then.

Him is doing well after his surgeries, he is considering going back to work sooner than we expected, I am not sure he is ready though.

I have alot to talk about...
I wanted to tell you about "Kasimir" but
havent figured out what and/or how or even if.

Oh and....also..this website will be going away soon
my home base for blogging will be on the Divine Nobodies Network. I will post a link soon.

I am in the process of major transformation.
Please pray for me.

Jesus's eyes closed in my chest on the Vigil was something I have read about but didnt expect inside of me.

I also didnt expect the next day to feel Him wake-up inside me... larger than I could ever expect or even understand.

Woke me up too as I wrote in my Easter post.

Nothing to call Oprah about ....
yet....
:O)

Love K

2009 Easter Tuesday

It was suggested to me, by a most awesomely holy=most wonderfully human friend, that I continue my "series" of daily blogs through the octave of Easter, and I will tomorrow.

Now, I want to begin again with Holy Saturday Mass - the Easter Vigil that I attended.

The sanctuary is very crowded, standing room only
I am sitting in the back, the next to last pew.
My pastor recommends a meditative approach to the Mass.
I close my eyes,
I am holding something within my chest
another cough probably,
a lung,
a breath,
lights beginning behind my eyes,
and so it happened..
I saw the face of Jesus
He was sleeping,
His eyes closed.
that's all I could see inside of me that night.

Happy Easter

The blare of the trumpet inside my sleepy soul
sounds the Commencement.

It is heard by my conscience.

What is my conscience?

It feels like Jesus… rising inside of me.
Urging me to right not wrong.

Respond Little clown, let's Love.
Together let's hunt the elusive egg.
React - Rise to the Resurrection inside of you, happening now

Holy Saturday: The Easter Vigil

Something happens as I sleep in the dark...
the warmth of Your breath on my cheek,
the fragrance of the garden on my shoulder,
vibrations in my ear, my skin tingling...
Your voice purring my name.

Even with the stain of apple still on my face,
could it be?…You actually came to forgive me too?

Awake o sleeper, get up - let’s go on,
I did not create you to be apart from me,
I created you so we could be together.

(FYI today is the 5th anniversary of something happening to me... my baptism ..in case anyone wants to know...Easter Vigil, April 10, 2004 :o)
*****

Ancient Holy Saturday Homily
by Bishop Melito of Sardis (180 ad ?)
Something strange is happening – there is a great silence on earth today, a great silence and stillness. The whole earth keeps silence because the King is asleep. The earth trembled and is still because God has fallen asleep in the flesh and he has raised up all who have slept ever since the world began. God has died in the flesh and hell trembles with fear.

He has gone to search for our first parent, as for a lost sheep. Greatly desiring to visit those who live in darkness and in the shadow of death, he has gone to free from sorrow the captives Adam and Eve, he who is both God and the son of Eve. The Lord approached them bearing the cross, the weapon that had won him the victory. At the sight of him Adam, the first man he had created, struck his breast in terror and cried out to everyone: “My Lord be with you all.” Christ answered him: “And with your spirit.” He took him by the hand and raised him up, saying: “Awake, O sleeper, and rise from the dead, and Christ will give you light.”
I am your God, who for your sake have become your son. Out of love for you and for your descendants I now by my own authority command all who are held in bondage to come forth, all who are in darkness to be enlightened, all who are sleeping to arise. I order you, O sleeper, to awake. I did not create you to be held a prisoner in hell.

Rise from the dead, for I am the life of the dead. Rise up, work of my hands, you who were created in my image. Rise, let us leave this place, for you are in me and I am in you; together we form only one person and we cannot be separated. For your sake I, your God, became your son; I, the Lord, took the form of a slave; I, whose home is above the heavens, descended to the earth and beneath the earth. For your sake, for the sake of man, I became like a man without help, free among the dead. For the sake of you, who left a garden, I was betrayed to the Jews in a garden, and I was crucified in a garden.

See on my face the spittle I received in order to restore to you the life I once breathed into you. See there the marks of the blows I received in order to refashion your warped nature in my image. On my back see the marks of the scourging I endured to remove the burden of sin that weighs upon your back. See my hands, nailed firmly to a tree, for you who once wickedly stretched out your hand to a tree.

I slept on the cross and a sword pierced my side for you who slept in paradise and brought forth Eve from your side. My side has healed the pain in yours. My sleep will rouse you from your sleep in hell. The sword that pierced me has sheathed the sword that was turned against you.

Rise, let us leave this place. The enemy led you out of the earthly paradise. I will not restore you to that paradise, but I will enthrone you in heaven. I forbade you the tree that was only a symbol of life, but see, I who am life itself am now one with you. I appointed cherubim to guard you as slaves are guarded, but now I make them worship you as God. The throne formed by cherubim awaits you, its bearers swift and eager. The bridal chamber is adorned, the banquet is ready, the eternal dwelling places are prepared, the treasure houses of all good things lie open. The kingdom of heaven has been prepared for you from all eternity.

Good Friday: A Good Friday Tribute to St. Joan of Arc

Voices of Light/VI. Torture (Voice) - Netherlands Radio Choir;Netherlands Radio Philharmonic;Anonymous 4;Steven Mercurio

(Jesus's Passion helps us bear our own pains and those of our loved ones...Contemplating the taste of gall as well as the taste honey....K)

From Richard Einhorns’ Voices of Light:
the Passion of St. Joan of Arc
The Netherlands Radio Chorus and Anonymous 4

"Torture"

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt, early 14th
Century visionary and poet.

Et desiderabam videre vel saltem illud
parum de carne Christi quod portaverant
clavi in ligno.

And I longed to see at least that little bit of
Christ's flesh that the nails had fixed to the
wood.
Blessed Angela of Foligno

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

...ostendit cor suum perforatum quasi ad
modum portulae unius parvae laternae ...
quod ex ipso corde exiverunt radii solares.
Imo solaribus radiis clariores...

He showed [her] his heart, perforated like
the openings in a small lantern...From his
very heart issued forth rays of the sun --no
--- brighter than the sun's rays...
Na Prous Boneta

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

...«non est aequum, velle solum de melle
meo gustare, et non de felle: si perfecte vis
mecum uniri, mente intenta recogita
illusiones, opprobria, flagella, mortem, et
tormenta, quae pro te sustinui.»

..."It is not fair to wish to taste only of my
honey, and not the gall. If you wish to be
perfectly united with me, contemplate
deeply the mockery, insults, whippings,
death and torments that I endured for
you."
Blessed Margarita, disciple of St.
Umiltà, 14th Century.

Glorioses playes... Glorious wounds...
Marguerite d'Oingt

**************
(excerpts from Mark Twain’s essay on St. Joan of Arc – I put the full article in a comment to this blog -

I am fascinated by Mark Twain (a religious curmudgeon to say the least)... particularly I am fascinated by his interest, no..better said .. his LOVE...across-the-centuries-love of St Joan of Arc.

I can only imagine what went through the mind and heart of this creator of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, when he first read the recently released (at that time) transcripts, first written in Modern French of her trial. To me it is ironic that his many of his books received the same fate as did St. Joan.)

"...She was deeply religious, and believed that she had daily speech with angels; that she saw them face to face, and that they counselled her, comforted and heartened her, and brought commands to her direct from God. She had a childlike faith in the heavenly origin of her apparitions and her Voices, and not any threat of any form of death was able to frighten it out of her loyal heart. She was a beautiful and simple and lovable character. In the records of the Trials this comes out in clear and shining detail. She was gentle and winning and affectionate, she loved her home and friends and her village life; she was miserable in the presence of pain and suffering; she was full of compassion: on the field of her most splendid victory she forgot her triumphs to hold in her lap the head of a dying enemy and comfort his passing spirit with pitying words; in an age when it was common to slaughter prisoners she stood dauntless between hers and harm, and saved them alive; she was forgiving, generous, unselfish, magnanimous; she was pure from all spot or stain of baseness. And always she was a girl; and dear and worshipful, as is meet for that estate: when she fell wounded, the first time, she was frightened, and cried when she saw her blood gushing from her breast; but she was Joan of Arc! and when presently she found that her generals were sounding the retreat, she staggered to her feet and led the assault again and took that place by storm.

There is no blemish in that rounded and beautiful character.

Taking into account, as I have suggested before, all the circumstances -- her origin, youth, sex, illiteracy, early environment, and the obstructing conditions under which she exploited her high gifts and made her conquests in the field and before the courts that tried her for her life, -- she is easily and by far the most extraordinary person the human race has ever produced."

Lent 2009: Day 44 (Holy Thursday)

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Taw (part 2)
Keep your hand ready to help me,
for I have chosen your precepts.
I long for your salvation, LORD;
your teaching is my delight.
Let me live to praise you;
may your edicts give me help.
I have wandered like a lost sheep;
seek out your servant,
for I do not forget your commands.
*****

So when he had washed their feet
and put his garments back on and reclined at table again,
he said to them, "Do you realize what I have done for you?
You call me 'teacher' and 'master,' and rightly so, for indeed I am.
If I, therefore, the master and teacher, have washed your feet,
you ought to wash one another's feet.
I have given you a model to follow,
so that as I have done for you, you should also do."
John 13 12-15
***

Jesus knew what it is like to be the good shepherd.
The paths we sheep wander through in this life are not always through gardens and parks.

Our journey demands repeated exposure to muck...i.e., emotions, anger, fear, self-pity, jealousy, dullard-ness, misunderstanding and other aspects of ourselves we would simply rather others not see.

Look at Him.
He is naked... without pretense or defense,
He stoops and gently washes the
parts that carry us in this journey
that naturally get dirty from the
places we must go.

He does not ask us to prove our cleanliness
he knows where we need washing, and
he stoops and washes us,
and then
he instructs us,
"have love for one another, in this way, as I have loved you”

The Love that shows all you are a disciple
is being naked with Him...
(naked means without the cover of righteousness, powerful positions, pretense or defense)

Disciples become naked together
We stoop and gently wash the parts that
carry each other, our brothers and sisters,
Wash them in the pure Eucharistic act
of the naked body of Christ working inside of us.

The naked Love inside us is our salvation.

Lent 2009: Day 43 (Holy Week Wednesday)

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Taw (Part 1)

Let my cry come before you, LORD;
in keeping with your word give me discernment.
Let my prayer come before you;
rescue me according to your promise.
May my lips pour forth your praise,
because you teach me your laws.
May my tongue sing of your promise,
for all your commands are just.
*****
For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.

John 3:16
***

Heavenly Father:
Love is your just and eternal command, yet
even today, It takes courage (heart) to say the words…

“I am a human with a bit of divinity who wants to walk the way of Jesus”
“I am weak and cannot do it alone”
“I am wanting what Jesus gives”
“I am a Christian”
“I am a follower of Christ”
It takes heart.

Yes, some people get it wrong, and
It is not easy to forgive them, and
it is not easy to forgive ourselves.
It takes heart.

Don’t run away!
Without fear, don’t be afraid of the Word inside of you!

Love is a like bell that is struck in your heart and resonates
as it moves to your finger tips and toes…
other parts of you too… I know you have felt it there!
and also…your throat and
when it rolls off your tongue
and vibrates through your lips,
it rings throughout the universe,
…no matter the size of the sound…
even if it is a whisper...,
especially if it is a prayer that is first whispered inside your heart,
A secret… whispered to your heart from your soul.
Jesus is Love!

Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 42 (Holy Week Tuesday)

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love (Holy Week Tuesday)

Shin (part 2)
Lovers of your teaching have much peace;
for them there is no stumbling block.
I look for your salvation, LORD,
and I fulfill your commands.
I observe your decrees;
I love them very much.
I observe your precepts and decrees;
all my ways are before you.
*****
He said to him the third time, "Simon, son of John, do you love me?" Peter was distressed that he had said to him a third time, "Do you love me?" and he said to him, "Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you." (Jesus) said to him, "Feed my sheep.
Excerpt John 21
***
On a very human level, this has been another crummy Lent for me
I have missed every special event at church.
I have wanted to be there with my friends, singing and having Mass
and Lenten suppers listening and learning from the various
speakers or mission programs, enriching my spiritual life with the brothers and sisters in my church community.

Instead I have needed to take care of my husband prior to and during and after his hospitalization which included two surgeries - one planned for, one not.
He would tell me “go ahead and go” but I couldn’t do that, he is a sheep too.

Now tonight I am missing the Chrism Mass with the bishop and all the diocese priests because I have a flat-out nasty miserable cold.

On a spiritual level, I suppose I am blessed with this sort of Lent. No matter what discipline for Fasting, prayer and almsgiving I choose. I can always count on the Holy Spirit to drive me into my own personal desert to meet the devil on terms I need to meet it on.

As miserable as I have been these last few weeks, and as miserable I am even now, I feel the space/the emptiness created by them misery. Now there is more space in me for the angels to come to me, more room for them to breathe beside me and with me, more space for them to do ministry to me. (I have had some wonderful blessings I will tell about later).

And the saints… I have gone back to some of my old friends and met some new ones. Theresa of the Little Way for example, I have not read much about her other than what is commonly known. I didn’t know she had a strong desire to be a priest, and great frustration because she couldn’t.

Through this blog exercise, I have learned to use the Holy scriptures, trying to look past the individual sentences or phrases into a deeper meaning for me and how the Holy Word is a reflection of my daily life and spiritual growth, and..how I am a reflection of It.

All this, not because I have the need to be autonomous and on my own, I don’t. I don’t want to be on my own.

I need people very much and have no problem asking for help,
(but sometimes with people “askin’ ain’t gettin’” to quote Pork from Gone with the Wind)

I need teachers and shepherds and friends and family though I can’t always choose where I am and what I am doing nor with whom. God chooses that for me.

I am feeling more and more how the gift of Jesus and his Spirit truly allow us to have real experiences of our Creator inside of us – particularly in pain – a slowness, an unhurriedness...a peace. I recognise it most when I notice myself "losing it" if that makes sense.

Ultimately,
my life – this one and all of its potential iterations -
is, first and last, all about me and God, and how
“we am” together,
I think that is the same for all of us..

Dear Heavenly Father,
please heal my runny nose,
and then lets talk some more about those sheep.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 41

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love (Holy Week Monday)

Shin (part 1)

Princes persecute me without reason,
but my heart reveres only your word.
I rejoice at your promise,
as one who has found rich spoil.
Falsehood I hate and abhor;
your teaching I love.
Seven times a day I praise you
because your edicts are just.

***
When it was already dawn, Jesus was standing on the shore; but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.
Jesus said to them, "Children, have you caught anything to eat?" They answered him, "No."
So he said to them, "Cast the net over the right side of the boat and you will find something." So they cast it, and were not able to pull it in because of the number of fish.
**

Father, who I know from the rich spoil of Jesus:
So often I let someone knock the wind out of my sails,
more often, I simply forget to breathe,
in and out, in and out.
Let me catch Your breaths!
How are they numbered?
what is the count?
Please let me inhale and exhale in sync with your perfect number.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 40

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love
(Palm Sunday - beginning of Holy Week)

Resh (part 2)
Though my persecutors and foes are many
I do not turn from your decrees.
I view the faithless with loathing,
because they do not heed your promise.
See how I love your precepts, LORD;
in your kindness give me life.
Your every word is enduring;
all your just edicts are forever.

*****
On the evening of that first day of the week, when the doors were locked, where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, "Peace be with you."
When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. The disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

(Jesus) said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you."
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, "Receive the holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained."

(Excerpt John 20)
***

Dear Father who sent us divine Peace through Jesus:
I see Your Edicts working in me,
when I have been in a difficult situation
and only feel intense Love.

I don’t try to forgive it just happens.
I don’t try to Love, it just happens

Help me-forgiving-myself just happen too…
Actually…help me let go of myself –
I want to give it to You
in exchange for complete reception of Your Spirit.

I suppose I need to let it just happen.

Help me have this prescience within my daily panorama
within every breath of my existence.
Amen
K

Lent 2009: Day 39

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Resh
Look at my affliction and rescue me,
for I have not forgotten your teaching.
Take up my cause and redeem me;
for the sake of your promise give me life.
Salvation is far from sinners
because they do not cherish your laws.
Your compassion is great, O LORD;
in accord with your edicts give me life.
*****
……..But Mary stayed outside the tomb weeping. And as she wept, she bent over into the tomb and saw two angels in white sitting there, one at the head and one at the feet where the body of Jesus had been.
And they said to her, "Woman, why are you weeping?" She said to them, "They have taken my Lord, and I don't know where they laid him."

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus there, but did not know it was Jesus. …
(excerpt John 20)
***
Heavenly Father whose Edict is Love
Thank you for Mary of Magdala
she is a friend of my saint Veronica.

Mm friend heard me crying
and supported me with your Voice.

Sometimes my heart gets twisted out of shape
and to protect it, I don’t let it listen like it could.
Now, it is hearing the things I started to forget
Its shape is returning,
turning around to greet You in me.

Thank you for the gift of angels:
the gift of patient friends, teachers, pastors;
the gift of your Word flowing through them
to us.

Lent 2009: Day 38

A Lenten Journey Through the Spiritual Alpahbet
Psalm 119

Qoph (Part 2)

Hear my voice in your love, O LORD;
by your edict give me life.
Malicious persecutors draw near me;
they are far from your teaching.
You are near, O LORD;
reliable are all your commands.
Long have I known from your decrees
that you have established them forever. *****

Joseph of Arimathea, secretly a disciple of Jesus for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate if he could remove the body of Jesus. And Pilate permitted it. So he came and took his body.

Nicodemus, the one who had first come to him at night, also came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes weighing about one hundred pounds.

They took the body of Jesus and bound it with burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom.

Now in the place where he had been crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb, in which no one had yet been buried.

So they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day; for the tomb was close by.
(excerpt John 19)
***
O Papa-me-fella,
A friend I need,
A friend of body-of-Christ with me
Fear of dark not allowed,
(fear of everything else expected and understood,
we can hold each other’s hands)
Secretly at night whatever it be,
Ritual and tradition transform when free

Lent 2009: Day 37

Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119, Sustainable Love

Qoph
I call with all my heart, O LORD;
answer me that I may observe your laws.
I call to you to save me
that I may keep your decrees.
I rise before dawn and cry out;
I put my hope in your words.
My eyes greet the night watches
as I meditate on your promise.
*****
So Pilate said to him, "Do you not speak to me? Do you not know that I have power to release you and I have power to crucify you?"

Jesus answered (him), "You would have no power over me if it had not been given to you from above. For this reason the one who handed me over to you has the greater sin."
(excerpt John 19)
***

Dear Heavenly Father, whom we know in the name of Jesus,

Hear me please,
and let me look a little with your eyes.

My sight will have to be brightened.
Then, I can glimpse infinity in the face of my brothers and sisters,
then, I can glimpse infinity in the face of my self.

My self could be darkened-dark by all that bright,
but then,
I would truly become lovely, ever so divine.

Amen,
Love
Keren

Lent 2009: Day 36

A Lenten Journey through the Spiritual Alphabet
Psalm 119

Sadhe (part 2)
Though belittled and despised,
I do not forget your precepts.
Your justice is forever right,
your teaching forever true.
Though distress and anguish come upon me,
your commands are my delight.
Your decrees are forever just;
give me discernment that I may live
***
Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, "You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?" He said, "I am not."
The slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire that they had made, because it was cold, and were warming themselves. Peter was also standing there keeping warm.

The high priest questioned Jesus about his disciples and about his doctrine. ……Jesus answered him, "If I have spoken wrongly, testify to the wrong; but if I have spoken rightly, why do you strike me?" ….Then Annas sent him bound to Caiaphas 11 the high priest.

Now Simon Peter was standing there keeping warm. And they said to him, "You are not one of his disciples, are you?" He denied it and said, "I am not."
.... a relative of the one whose ear Peter had cut off, said, "Didn't I see you in the garden with him?"
Again Peter denied it.
(excerpts John 18)
***

I can only imagine that Peter beat himself up for this over and over again until his, and our, redemption by the risen Christ.

Peter later wrote to persecuted Christians, “For what credit is it if, when you are beaten for your faults, you take it patiently? But when you do good and suffer, if you take it patiently, this is commendable before God” (1 Peter 2:20).

K...It is one thing if you are “beat-up” (hurt) because of your bad/wrong doings and go ahead and take it like a man.

However, to be "hurt" because of your good/right doings and take it, you are taking it like Jesus.

It is not only commendable to God, it is a sign of God working inside you.

and in that regard (when hurt for doing good) - it is not your “imperfection” that is being hurt by the person doing the hurting,
it is the "hurter's" lack of belief in the totality of God’s perfection/love that he or she is trying to beat up.

hmmmm...huh?

I suppose the heart of the matter, is that God forgives us, through the redemptive act of Jesus's life death and resurrection we are forgiven...

...when we can forgive ourselves and others, as opposed to beating up, we are letting God's ways work through with and in us.

----
Lenten journey ponderings and wanderings
:o)