I spend a lot time “acting the fool”. Especially now that I am “spiritual” I find myself saying things and wondering, why did I say that?? Who do I think I am? Acckk!! I find myself in situations and ask myself, what am I even doing here? Him (my husband) wonders about me too. He thinks I have lost it, and worries I am going to put myself in a bad position one way or another.
He doesn’t believe me anymore when I say someone is my friend. I refer to everyone as my friend whether I know them or not. Like the guy who begs for money at the big intersection near our house. I give him a dollar now and then and he gives me a blessing and calls me "baby." I love that, so he is my friend. Am I desperate for friends? Probably, or I suppose I might have a broader definition of “friend” than Him does. (I’m sure glad he doesn’t read most of my posts….)
Him’s best quality is his sense of humor. He makes me laugh every day. He is subtly irreverent and loves finding humor in the absurd. He readily laughs at himself too, a rare gift. He laughs at me more though – I give him all his best material. I took singing lessons a few months ago and was practicing some pretty high notes at home, in my room, behind closed door. He knocked on the door and politely asked “will you please wait until I die to do that?” Then he said he was going to go ahead and bury the cats. … Nice.
That is pretty unlovable, particularly since I was really trying to sound pretty … but I know Him and his love for me, so he can say that, someone else I would slug. Or more than likely I would cry.
How do we love the unlovable? including ourselves when we mess up, make a fool of ourselves, miss the mark, when we feel superior or inferior to others, don’t live up to expectations, when we hurt or disappoint someone whether intentional or not, or when they hurt us…whatever.
How do you love the unlovable?
Peace
Keren
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